


And Then There Were Two

by ClearlyChocolatePersonA



Series: And Then There Were Two [1]
Category: ATTWN - Fandom, And Then There Were None (TV 2015), And Then There Were None - Christie
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:50:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10656213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClearlyChocolatePersonA/pseuds/ClearlyChocolatePersonA
Summary: An alternate ending to ATTWN. It follows the BBC series and takes place a little after Vera shoots Phillip. I had to change a few things in order for the story to work but I'm sure you can catch on. I hope you enjoy. I really love these two and I hope I do them justice!





	1. Chapter 1

You forgot the one that shot me," said the judge. Vera was gasping for breath. The judge had been there all along. Hiding in the shadows until the guilt was too much for her to bear and she slipped that damned noose around her neck. That's when he came out, when he revealed himself to her along with his sick obsession with death. She tried reasoning with him, She begged and pleaded, even tried throwing Philip under the bus.  
The judge pulled the chair away from her feet. It wasn't a long fall, the chair had already slipped and she'd been balancing on a leg ever since. Trying to keep the chair from falling all the way. Trying to keep herself alive, but the judge had been right, she had killed Cyril, and just as Hugo had so hatefully told her she was now going to hang for her crimes. She was just as sick and twisted as old judge Wargrave. Her body was jerking violently in every direction and she could no longer work her hands up to the rope to try and pull it away from her neck to keep it from strangling her. She was going to die, and it wouldn't be long either, in only a matter of minutes shed become no more than a stupid girl who'd made the mistake of going to an island that no ne knew anything about. A stupid girl who'd let a boy drown for love. A stupid girl who told him he could swim.  
Her vision was fading in and out and there was a loud ringing in her ear but she could make out a gunshot. There he is, she thought. She could see Philip standing there in his bloodstained shirt with one arm outstretched to hold the revolver and one dangling at his side. I must be almost dead, she thought, Philip has come to get me, to drag me back to hell I presume. The lack of oxygen to her brain was starting to take effect and she heard him yell her name before everything went black.  
"Vera, Vera wake up." Someone was saying her name. Am I dead now, she wondered. Oh how she wanted to be, to be free from all the guilt that caught up with her when she killed Phillip. Why did that affect her so much what more was what she had with him than some late night drunken sex. But there was something inside her that told her that he was more, or would've been, if she hadn't shot him that is. "Vera," he said, it was Philip.  
She opened her eyes to see him leaning over her. gripping her shoulders. she could see worry in his eyes, but why would there be any need to worry if we're dead, she wondered. Philip breathed out a sigh of relief when she woke up. He leaned back and relaxed a little bit, even though she'd never stopped breathing Phillip had been tense the whole time.  
"Are you alright," Vera asked as she sat up from the ground. "Are we dead?"  
Philip laughed and steadied her as she set up. "No Vera we're not dead. We got pretty close," he explained, " But were not dead. I told you Vera, death is for other people."  
"I shot you," she said, "I shot you. You should be dead! And I Should too!"  
"Vera you really are not a good shot although I guess its hardly your fault, as I am certantly not a good target. The bullet barely grazed my shoulder" He smiled that wolfish grin and continued. "Anyway after you shot me I followed you back to the house. In all honesty I was sure that you were the killer and you were about to become number twenty-two but when I climbed those stairs and picked up the gun I heard him and imediently changed my mind about you. Judge Wargrave was finishing up his story and you were begging and pleading and trying to pin all this on me while I was creeping down the hallway. I have to tell you Vera when I heard you say all of that I was really pissed." Vera looked down. She could tell he was trying to make her feel guilty and she hated every minute of it. Philip took in a breath and continued. "Suddenly I heard the chair fall and I knew that your efforts to escape death proved to be no good, That's when I rushed into the room and put a bullet in that old judges head. And then I saw you, your body jerking every which way and your chokes and gasps for breath I ran to you and pulled you out of the noose. When I saw your eyes closed I was really worried that id been to late." He didn't say anything else and Vera knew that was the end of it. She knew he wouldn't go into any more detail.  
"Well," Vera said quietly. "Lets go get this graze cleaned up then shall we?"  
Philip grinned again."Sounds good," he said.  
Together they walked to Armstrong's room to search for this infamous medical bag that had supplied there killer with so many tools. They found it sitting on the dresser by the window. Philip told Vera what to do step by step. He must be used to this, she thought. She cleaned it with soap and water and then wrapped it with some gauze they'd found in the medical bag. They went to the drawing room, the room where they'd first heard those damned tapes, because that's where they'd left the alcohol and when Vera asked him if he wanted her to look for pain meds he'd said that whiskey was the best pain reliever. So they sat on the couch side by side, drinking whiskey straight from the bottle, in a house full of dead bodies. Vera broke the silence,  
"We should start a fire somewhere," she suggested, "To signal for help. I want to get off the bloody island."  
"You're right," Philip took another swig of the whiskey. "and we will. But there's no danger now." Vera was suddenly aware of his hand softly stroking her thigh. It drove her crazy, to have him touching her. She wanted him to touch her all the time. Philip made her forget about every bad thing she'd ever done or seen, or any terrible thing that ever happened. She locked eyes with him and it was like a switch flipped. Soon they were pressed against each other, their teeth clashing and their tongues colliding in hot messy kisses. He kissed her hard and Vera was sure there'd be a bruise tomorrow but she didn't mind, she liked it. She liked him tugging at her hair and biting her lips. She wanted him. He kissed down her neck and started sucking at the most sensitive parts, Vera moaned in pleasure, she thought that she felt him smile against her skin.       
Skillfully Philip unbuttoned her shirt and started sucking and kissing at her breasts, her stomach. She couldn't take it anymore she ripped at his shirt until he got the message and helped her pull it off. Philip wanted her just as bad and she could tell. He didn't bother taking off her skirt instead he just pushed it up. He unclipped her stockings and pulled her knickers down all in a swift move movement.            
Philip thrusted fast and hard and sucked at her hard nipples and then back up to her neck, biting and pinching and kissing. They were breathing heavy and Vera moaned and moaned she was almost there, almost. He moved his lips and a hand back down to her nipples and pinched at one while he bit the other and it felt so good. She couldn't take it anymore she came with a loud gasp that drew all of her energy away and she went still while he finished. After it was over he rolled off of her.  
They began to laugh hysterically. They just had sex in house full of dead bodies. Vera picked up the half empty bottle that had fallen off the couch and took a few sips before she handed it to Philip. While he was drinking she pressed her body close to his, trying to fill any space between them. With one hand he held the bottle and with the other he held her.       
Vera focused on his chest as it rose up and down in even breaths. She felt safe with him and she hated herself for it. Already she was losing the control she'd tried so hard to gain in the first place. She couldn't let her guard down with Philip, Vera knew that he'd be just the same as everyone else and she'd only be hurt in the end.  No she would not get comfortable with him. Vera would never allow herself to feel safe with him, she would never allow herself to fall in love with him. This is just sex, she reminded herself, that is all it will be and once we get off this island I will never hear of any Philip Lombard again. But something told her that she might. She was almost asleep and she thought of that rhyme. 'Three little soldier boys walking in a zoo, a big bear hugged one and then there were two.' And then there were two... that was the new ending. And then there were two.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two in my new series. It has been a week since Vera and Philip got off the island and the police have had them in and out every day since. Vera can't stop thinking of Philip and she hates herself for it. She wants him but she doesn't want to get hurt, will she ever be able let her guard down?

"Ms. Claythorne let's just go over this one more time. What happened on Soldier Island." It had been a week since she and Philip left Soldier Island and a week since they'd last seen each other. Vera had been in and out of the small police station all week, giving them the same story that she and Philip had come up with after he shot Wargrave-well, after that incident on the couch.  
"I've already told you what happened a million times."  
"We just want to make sure we get the story right. Now please go through it again."  
"We were invited to soldier Island by a U.N. Owen. When the ten of us got there we realized that none of us had met this man. One by one people began to die until it was just Mr. Lombard and I left. We suspected that there was someone else on the Island-"  
The detective interrupted, "You didn't suspect each other?"  
"Well of course we did-or I did at least- but mr. Lombard was just so confident in his theory and it turned out he was right. Judge Wargrave was mad and he'd set this whole insane thing up!"  
"And he confessed or you just went out on a whim?"  
"Well for starters he was supposed to be dead and he wasn't...but yes he confessed. Wargrave said that he was dying and that he was obsessed with death and he wanted to commit an unsolvable crime before he died."  
"And then Mr. Lombard shot him?"  
"Yes." The detective scribbled down some more notes. Vera couldn't possibly guess what he was writing since they'd been over this all week. "Will this be all?"  
"Yes, I think we've got it all down, all this was judge Wargrave and you and Mr. Lombard are just two innocent victims?"  
"Yes." The detective took in a long breath.  
"Okay, you're free to go Ms. Claythorne."  
"Thankyou." The detective held the door open and they walked out of the room.  
"Ah, Mr. Lombard I was just about to call you in." Vera turned around to see Philip walking down the busy hallway. She hadn't seen him in a week and it seemed like nothing about him had changed. Always cool and collected. Always driving Vera crazy. He looked at her with his cold eyes that didn't always seem so cold when they were on her. He looked away to soon though. Vera knew he was right to, no one could know what happened on the island or it could mess the whole plan up.  
"Yes, I have to say I am quite surprised this is still going on since I'm sure Ms. Claythorne and I have told you all there is to tell."  
"Yes well we just want to get a few things straight before we let you run off."  
"I see..." Vera looked away and walked out of the police station.  
On her way back to the bed and breakfast she'd been staying at she lit a cigarette and another one when she collapsed on the bed in her room. She was ready to pack and ready to leave but she just couldn't stop think about him. But she had to. He surely didn't care about him and she definitely couldn't care about him. If you get anymore twisted than you already are(and I know you will) he will leave you. No one wants to be with you, she reminded herself, she had to do this constantly.  
Slowly she packed up her clothes. Where would she go from here, she wondered. Surely no one would hire her after this. "London, I'll just go back to London. There's many jobs surely there will be someone to hire me." She slammed down the suitcase. And left the room to turn in her key.  
Vera hated it here, everyone looked at her like she was some scared and traumatized girl. News travels fast in a small town and everyone knew about the murders on that island and if they weren't suspecting she and Phillip then they just pitied her. And she was so goddamned tired of all the sideways glances. Even the lady she turned her key in to spoke quietly and didn't look up, but when she turned to leave she could hear the lady whisper to someone something along the lines of, "that's her..."  
"Need a ride?" She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. Without a word she got into the car. They were quiet for at least the first fifteen to twenty minutes. She didn't know where they were going or where he'd gotten a car she liked the silence though. Vera had never been one of those people who felt awkward in silence and immediately needed to fill it, if anything she felt at ease. Philip was the first to break it.  
"How's your week been?"  
"It's been busy. In and out of the police station, repeating myself over and over, ignoring all of the annoying comments like, "that's the girl that was on that 'murder' island" or "I think she did it, after all she and that man were the only ones to get out alive."  
"That Man," remarked Philip. He glanced at her. "Vera I would think you'd be used to hearing whispers about you, surely some people suspected you killed that boy..."  
Vera glared at him. How could he bring that up, she asked herself. Now she was mad. What did that even have to do with anything?  
Philip laughed, loud and sharp. "Okay, okay, I take it back. I'm sorry."  
"Where are we going anyway? And where the hell did you get a car?"  
"We're going to Southampton, and I got the car from an old colleague of mine."  
"And why did you pick me up? I thought we were trying to keep our relationship a secret."  
"Our relationship?" Philip glanced at Vera again. "And remind me what exactly are we to each other Ms. Claythorne?"  
"I meant that i thought we agreed not to have any contact until this is over. So people won't get the wrong impression..."  
"You can get out of you like."  
"I just don't want anyone to think that we were behind all of the murders. That's all."  
He smiled. "I think we'll be fine."  
They didn't talk again. For another two hours, they didn't even talk when they got out of the car to check into the hotel, but when the door closed behind them they didn't need words.  
Philip pushed her up against the wall and kissed her hard over and over until he began to trail kisses down her neck. Sucking and kissing and licking once again.  
"My how I've missed this Vera," he whispered into her collar bone. He started tearing her shirt away. Vera tugged at his hair and then at his own shirt. He pulled at her skirt until it fell down and she was left in only her stockings, knickers, bra, and an unbuttoned/ripped blouse that was already falling down her shoulders. He stepped away from her, she watched his eyes go from hers down to her feet and then slowly back up.  
Vera took a step forward and started kissing his neck she reached town to pull at his trousers when he growled. He began to push her towards the bed until there was no more room to walk. He pushed her back and fell with her. He kissed her hard on the mouth again, and then below her chin, her neck, her collar bone, her breast and then the other one. He trailed kisses down her stomach driving her more and more insane the lower he got. She felt his hot breath on her knickers and her lower half twisted without her knowledge.  
Slowly he unclipped the suspended belt from the stockings and unhooked the belt itself. One by one and even more slowly he rolled them off her legs. By the time he reached her her knickers again they were basically soaked. He seemed pleased and rolled them off as well.  
After that Philip was clearly done with the foreplay. He collapsed onto her-careful not to crush her- and immediately he was inside of her and biting at her neck, Vera had been waiting for this all week and she had to admit, the real thing was much better than her imagination.  
He thrusted fast and hard and she moaned loudly. She raked her fingernails down his back. He moved his hand down and began to move his thumb in circles around her clit. That was all he had to do after a few minutes her knees began to shake and she moaned out his name as she came. He came soon after and she thought she heard him whisper her name as well. He rolled off of her and they staired at the ceiling.  
Vera was the first to get up. She lit a cigarette and held one out for Philip. He took it in his moth and leaned into the lighter she held out for him.  
"I've been thinking about you."  
"Have you?"  
"Yes. On the nights when I couldn't sleep."  
Philip began to trace the alphabet with his fingers on her abdomen. "What have you thought about?"  
"That night in my bedroom, and on the couch."  
"Mhmm..."  
"I missed your hands."  
"My hands..."  
"Touching me..."  
"How did you want me to touch you," he asked. He dragged his fingers down to her cunt and began drawing circles around her clit. "Like this?" He turned to lay on his side and slipped in a finger but making sure to keep his thumb circling around her clit. She moaned again and twisted her hips. He saw her bite her lip and moved his to hers and began to bite her lower lip himself.  
She gasped a little when he took his hand away from her and moved it up to hers. He moved her hand back down to where his was and began to thumb at her clit again.  
"Show me what you did when you thought of that." She understood now. Vera slipped a finger inside her wet cunt and began to slowly move it in and out. Philip began to kiss her again and then moved up to softly nibble at her ear and trail kisses up and down her neck. She slipped two fingers in and his thumb moved in faster circles around her clit as the speed of her fingers increased and her moans grew louder. Finally she couldn't take it any longer. Her thighs closed together around their hands, she arched her back and wildly bucked her hips against her hand and then she collapsed back onto the bed, out of breath now. Philip moved back to the other side of the bed and lit another cigarette.  
"I'm going to America." He turned his head towards Vera. "War is pretty much inevitable and I'd rather not be in the middle of it. Besides I know people in America so I should already have a job lined up when I get there."  
"Okay," Vera said. She wondered what this had to do with her. "Why are you telling me all this?"  
"I want you to come with me." She didn't respond. What could this mean, she wondered. Why would he want to keep her around. Philip could have anyone. "Come on Vera. Who's gonna hire you with the past you've got now? In America no one will know about it though. You can get a job and start over there. Besides in a few months it won't be safe here." She still stayed quiet. She was thinking. She wanted to go with him but it just all seemed so permanent. But it couldn't be permanent, and she knew that.  
"Vera," he continued. "I want to go to America. I want to go with you." She looked up at him now. Could he actually like me, she wondered. She wanted to go with him but she couldn't shake the feeling that he'd abandon her as soon as they got there. But what the hell right? It wasn't like she would have a job to go back to but she could get one, in America, maybe... besides, if anything the sex on the way will be worth it, right, she thought.  
"Okay," she said. "I'll go with you."  
"Fantastic!" He got up and put his pants back on. "I rather fond of you Vera. I'm very glad you'll be coming with me." He grinned that devilish grin again and picked up the phone, to arrange the trip she supposed. Vera was lost in her head thinking of a possible future with him but she wasn't thinking of the good kind, instead she thought of all the terrible ways it would end. Because that's what happens.Everything good ends.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've arrived on the ship and while Philip is ready to see where this relationship takes them, Vera can't seem to unguard herself enough to let him. Instead she lies to him in order to keep him out of her head of course this only frustrates Philip more. Will Vera ever be able to let him love her?

Vera gripped the railing of the ship to steady herself. They'd left the dock only fifteen minutes ago and she was already having second thoughts, too late now. Oh why had she decided to leave England with Philip? When this whole thing goes down in flames you're just going to be left all sad and despairing again, she thought, that's what always happens, and she could feel it coming too. It starts off all good and jolly and then they start to figure out that they can't possibly want to be with someone like her. Someone who could kill a little boy for almost no reason at all. And who coould lie just as easy as breathing- even about something like that. Poor little Cyril.  
She was a good liar, everyone always believed her-except Philip, even from the beginning, on that damned bloody island, Philip could see through even her smallest fibs and she knew he saw through this one as well.  
After a few minutes in the cabin with him she could feel a panic attack coming along. A panic attack, they happened every now and then...when she was getting to comfortable. It was like when she actually started to feel even a little bit okay with where she was and who she was her body had to remind her that she is a terrible woman who has done terrible things and will spend an eternity in Hell!  
She'd played it cool when she told him that she was going to get some fresh air but as soon as she heard that door slam shut she beat it down the hallway and to the back of the ship, where she was now.  
In through the nose out through the mouth, Vera reminded herself, silly girl, Philip doesn't care about what you did. He's certainly no saint himself. You're just stressed now get over it. He hasn't done anything to you and he never will, at least he hasn't acted like he would.  
Vera began to calm down, to breathe in even breaths but then her mind got the best of her and she knew that she could not, under any circumstances, look to her left. She wouldn't like what she saw. But she couldn't help it. She held her breath and quickly darted her eyes to her left and there he was. Cyril stood before her, his wet hair dripping into a small puddle of water that surrounded his small feet. He stood only in the pair of shorts that she had last seen him in and his pale body was covered in seaweed like it was when the rescuers had found him.  
Vera wasn't a histerical woman. She didn't scream when she saw him, didn't even flinch. But she couldn't breathe. All around her people were walking. Parents fussing at their children, spouses fussing at their spouses, but Vera didn't move like the rest of them. She was still and staring at the poor dead boy that only she could see. She wanted to look away so bad but she couldn't divert her eyes. This was torture.  
Strong arms were now wrapped around her and pulling her close. Her breath caught in her throat when she didn't know who it was. She spun around and was surprised to see Philip. She still wasn't quite sure about what their relationship was. He had gotten one bedroom with one bed to share so did that mean he actually wanted something in this or was it just the sex, she wondered.  
"Are you alright Vera," he asked. She wanted to say he seemed shocked but he didn't. Vera couldn't imagine Philip ever being shocked. He always kept his cool, a lot like her.  
"Yes, of course I'm alright, why? Was I gone long?"  
"You don't have to lie to me. Whatever's wrong you can tell me."  
"Nothing's wrong Philip. I just wanted to be alone for a bit. Is that going to be alright with you?" She raised her voice a bit and people began to look at them, especially one old lady who was alone on the ship, she started to watch them very closely, particularly Philip. Philip noticed he turned his head to her and smiled then looked back at Vera.  
"So you're alright," he asked in a polite voice.  
"Yes."  
"Why don't we go back to the cabin then." He grabbed her arm to where only she could know how hard he had her in his grasp. To everyone else it didnt look suspicious. She knew she'd messed up now. What would he do in the cabin? Surely he'd just yell at her and that'd be it. But why should he yell at her? All she'd done was tell a small white lie to get out of a possibly long conversation. They got inside the room and Philip pushed her on the bed and walked over to the wall. For a moment he only looked at her. For a moment.  
"Don't lie to me,"he said calmly. "I don't care what Ever happens to you, you can't lie about it. Not to me. Not when I can see right through you." Philip waited for her to respond until he realized she wouldn't. "So just tell me Vera, what's the matter?"  
Vera looked up at him but didn't say anything.  
"Is this about name thing?" The name thing... yes it was a bit about the name thing. Philip had explained to her the night before that he'd just barely gotten the tickets and he put them under the same name so people wouldn't look at them to closely. So they'd blend in as newlyweds and not look at them leaving the country so soon to closely. He'd put ten them under his name. "Welcome abord Mr. and Mrs. Lombard," the person who had taken their tickets had greeted them that way. They'd pretend they were married for however long they were together so that people would pay no attention to them. Philip had even provided her with a ring and a backstory that she could lie about since she was so good at it. Of course this had all been Philips idea and it all struck Vera as to...well permanent. Is that what he wants, she'd asked herself the night before. Something permanent? With me?  
"Vera I've already told you it's safer if we just pretend. I promised you on that island that if you stuck with me I'd keep you safe. And that's what I'm doing Vera. Or at least I'm trying to."  
She looked away from him now. She stared down at the floor and tapped her feet in a pattern. Philip moved over to their bed. He stood right in front of where she sat and towered over her."  
"Vera." She didn't answer. "Vera!" He yelled now but she still stared at the ground. "What is wrong with you? Tell me!"  
"Nothing! Nothing is wrong!" Philip grasped her shoulders and lifted her up from the bed and shook her.  
"Godammit Vera! I told you to stop fucking lying to me it's not worth it!" He threw her back down on the bed and trapped her there by leaning down and keeping his arms on either side of her.  
"What can't you tell me? I mean you should be able to tell me anything right? We're fucking married now aren't we," he yelled.  
"I guess so," she mumbled knowing this would only piss him off more.  
"So that's it then? This is the problem?" He tugged at the ring he gave her to wear but not enough to pull it off. "I fucking knew it. If only you were as interested in me as I am in you." He hit the bed with his hand and walked to turn and face the wall.  
"No Philip," she pulled the ring off and threw it at him. He turned around. She pointed at it on the floor. That is not the fucking problem, there is no fucking problem!" She began to beat her fists on his chest. "Now please, stop acting like you care for the love of God!" He grabbed her fists and pushed her towards the bed and stormed away. She didn't see him she just heard the door slam on his way out.

 

Vera laid in the bathtub. Instead of waiting for the water to fill before getting in she waited for the water to surround her instead. It had been two hours since Philip left. Vera didn't know where he went but they were on a boat so he couldn't have gone far.  
The water had reached that uncomfortable part where it only halfway submerged your ear now. She lifted her left hand out of the water and gazed at the ring Philip had given her, after he'd left she put it back on. "Oh Vera," she spoke softly, "why do you have to push him away? Hmm? He hasn't even tried to leave yet."  
Now the water had reached her chin. She really enjoyed baths. It was easier to think in the bathtub. And plus if she started to overthink then she could just go underwater and stay there until she came to her senses. She wasn't over thinking anything at the moment, but she wondered if she should stay there-underwater-who would care? No one. It wasn't like she had a family to plan a funeral for her, they were long gone. Who go to it anyway? She didn't talk to anyone at the school she used to work at so she didn't have friends. Would Philip even go, she wondered, probably not. He'd just be mad that he'd work so hard to save someone from imminent death that actually didn't really want to be saved.  
"Don't think like that Vera," she scolded herself. Vera began to scrub away at her skin with the soap and wash her hair as fast as she could, suddenly desperate to get out of the water but determined to finish bathing.  
She pulled out the drain, stepped out, and wrapped a towel around herself. first she dried her body and then moved to her hair. After a few minutes she decided it was dry enough and she wrapped the towel back around while walking out the bathroom door and collapsed on the bed. With her feet planted on the ground Vera tried to focus on the way her chest rose and fell but all she could think about was Philip and when he was coming back-if he was coming back. Somewhere during her thinking she made her way to his stash of brandy and cigarettes. She opened the window to let out the smoke and laid back down on the bed just the way she was before-feet on the ground, body on the bed- except her hands were full with a cigarette and a glass of alcohol.  
Philip slipped in the room as sneaky and quick as a cheetah but Vera, who'd been anxiously awaiting his return, didn't look up. Philip stood by the wall.  
"I do care Vera," he started. "That's my problem. I care about you. I wish you would tell me your problem."  
"I'm-," she started but he interrupted her.  
"I just got back and you're about to lie to me again?" Damn, she thought.  
"It's probably not what you think," she said. Philip took a sharp breath in.  
"I don't know what's wrong with you but I'm not going to beg for the answer Vera. You can tell me on your own time. But I do know that I care about you, maybe more than myself," he smiled,"so you know you're pretty damn important to me." She looked up at him. "Vera, I'll keep you safe. No one will find out what you did," she cringed, "it'll be as if it never happened. I promised to keep you safe on Soldier island and I want to live up to it. I really only have one condition. You can't lie to me. Like I said, I can read you like an open book so it's not worth the trouble." He pulled her up from the bed so they were face to face. "Stick with me Vera. I'll take you to New York and you can get a job and we can have a good life together. I want a good life with you. Or at least a life with you." He paused and spoke in a deeper voice. "I really like you."  
"I'm starting to like you a bit too," she said. He let out his sharp laugh once again. She liked his laugh so she smiled. She saw it coming. He pulled the towel off and picked her up and began kissing her shoulder and up to her neck and back down again. She wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned, she could feel him growing against her.  
He carried her up to the wall and slammed her against it. She tangled her fingers in his hair and tugged harder everytime he nipped at her nipple. With one hand holding her up he used his other to undo his pants and once again he was inside of her. He seemed to be enjoying it but she couldn't. She couldn't enjoy it not any of it. Even when they laid down on the bed to go to sleep when it was all over, she didn't sleep. That damned overthinking ruined everything. Why would he want a future with someone like her? This question could not find its way out of her head. And it had been plaguing her all day. She wanted so badly to guard her heart. The last time she allowed herself to love someone a child died. Because of her! So many people have died because she wanted to be loved. Selfish! Selfish! Selfish! Don't plague Philip with your insane self! And instead of even acknowledging it, that's what she thought about while Philip fucked her. And thinking back on it, it was a shame she didn't pay more attention, from the way Philip fell right asleep it was probably a good one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera and Philip are adjusting to the New York lifestyle but a night out reveals a lot of hidden issues.

Vera sat by the window folding clothes and watching the busy people come and go. She and Philip had been in New York staying in a hotel for a month and a half now. She was bored up until now, now she had a job-well as of three days ago.  
She'd gotten a job as a math teacher, apparently previously being employed as a games mistress and governess was good enough for teaching. Vera was good at math too, it had been her favorite subject as a child.  
She'd started only a couple of days ago and already the kids were excelling. They loved her too the girls talked to her about anything and everything and the boys liked her too. Maybe she they loved her so much simply because she was the youngest teacher on the staff she was only in her mid twenties and everyone else was late thirties to early fifties.  
She looked at the clock. Half past six. Philip had left a week ago to go on some "business trip" she wouldn't even bother to ask about. Not that he'd tell her if she did. Vera didn't really care what he did, after all he'd made a lot of money since he'd started his "job" a few weeks ago.  
The door opened and Vera twisted in her seat to watch. Philip strode in and stood at the desk to empty out his pockets. Loose change, room key, revolver(that he carried everywhere), car keys(they'd bought a few days ago because Philip worked outside of New York. He felt her eyes on him and glanced over at her.  
"I missed you," he said.  
Their eyes were locked on each other. Vera walked to the table he was at. She stood in front of him and without saying abword untucked and unbuttoned her shirt. She pulled it off and then pulled down her skirt and kicked away. "I missed you too," she whispered as she took a step forward to fill in the space between them.  
Without hesitation Philip placed his hands on her butt and began squeezing. He kissed her hard and full of passion. His hands moved from her ass down to her thighs to unclip her stockings and then he lifted her up and wrapped her legs around his waist.  
Now their breaths were hot and heavy as they became more and more aroused. Philip held her with one arm and with the other he cleared the desk and then sat her down on it. Vera tugged at the buttons on her shirt and Philip ripped out some clips as he threw her bra to the side and then punched her back onto the desk. He leaned over her and showered her neck in kisses. He sucked at her collar bone and nipped at her skin. His hand moved down and pinched her nipple and rolled it between his thumb and pointer finger. He took her other nipple in his mouth and flicked at the tip of it with his tongue.  
Philip moved his head down and trailed kisses along her stomach. Vera lifted her head to watch him as he went further and further down. He stood up and pulled her knickers off then flung them to the side. He grabbed her knees and pulled her torso to the end of the table. He then got down on his knees and put her thighs on his shoulders.  
He started to lick around her clit and then across her entrance until finally plunging his tongue inside of her.  
"Oh fuck," she moaned. She ran her fingers through her hair. "Oh, Keep going!"  
He kept lapping at her cunt. She let out a gasp. "Don't stop, don't stop," she urged him.  
His tongue was furiously exploring her and giving her so much pleasure. She could feel it coming, she was almost there...almost...  
"Oh Philip, I'm gonna' come," she screamed.  
Philip stoped and looked up. He saw her body arching and her fists clenching.  
"Not now, darling." He quickly undid his pants and was inside of her in a matter of seconds. She dug her fingers into his shoulders and left claw marks down his back. He thrusted fast and hard and rough. She screamed in pleasure each time he slammed into her.  
She slammed her head back onto the desk as she reached her peak once more. Time seemed to slow as she began to fall deep into pleasure. Falling, falling, falling. Philip followed soon after and collapsed onto her body. Exhausted he carried her to the bed and flung himself down beside her. Breathlessly they laid together side by side. Vera naked, save some stockings that had fallen to her shins and a suspender belt, and Philip fully clothed.  
"I got a job," Vera said after a few minutes of silence while they caught their breaths.  
"Really," he said quietly.  
"Yes, as a math teacher."  
"I was always good at math," Philip remarked. "Get up."  
"Why," she whined. Philip got up and walked to the end of the bed.  
"Because, were going out for dinner."  
"Oh Philip I'm not very hungry and besides I don't have anything to wear. Can't we just stay in?"  
Philip strode over to the chair and picked up a blew dress that was hanging from the back of it. He tossed the dress at her and then plopped down on the bed.  
"This'll work," he started. "Go get dressed."  
Vera rolled out of bed with the dress and started towards the kitchen.  
"Where are you going," he asked.  
Confused, she answered, "I'm going to the bathroom...to get dressed...like you asked..."  
"You can get dressed there." Philip grinned. "I want to watch." Vera laughed.  
"Come on. You undressed in front of me without a problem..."  
"Fine." Vera laid the dress down on the bed. She picked up her knickers from the ground and was about to put them on when Philip snatched them from her hand.  
"Really," she asked.  
"Yeah I don't want you to wear these tonight. I like knowing I can have you whenever I want."  
Vera smiled and shook her head. "No," she said. "I can't walk around without any knickers."  
"Oh come on Vera who's gonna' know? Except for you and I?" Vera thought for a second and then rolled her eyes and continued dressing. Philip relaxed back onto the bed to watch.  
She started by pulling her stockings, that had fallen to her shins, back up to her thighs and clipped them to the belt. She scooped up her bra next and fastened it back and then slipped the dress on. Feeling quite proud of herself for dressing in front of him with such ease she just smiled and sat down at the desk with a mirror to touch up her makeup. After a few minutes Philip jumped up from the bed and leaned down to her and began kissing her neck again.  
"Philip," she laughed. "We don't have time for this." He started to suck at her collar bone and slipped a hand down her shirt to play with her nipple. She was now aware that she'd be eating dinner with a bunch of bruises around her neck.  
"You're gonna' leave marks if you keep on, people are going to think you're abusive or something."  
He continued to massage her breast and kiss and suck around her neck.  
"Darling I thought you were hungry," she said. Philips hand went still and he sighed against her skin. He kissed her neck one more time and then stood up.  
"Are you ready to go," he asked.  
"Yeah." Philip picked up the car keys and opened the door for her. They held hands on their way to the car.  
At the restaurant they met one of the teachers that Vera worked with and her husband, Sarah and Roy Adams. Sarah was the only teacher that was anywhere close in age to Vera, and she had a son named peter that Vera taught, Sarah liked to think that they were good friends. The four of them decided to share a booth and Sarah went on and on about her childhood and how she grew up in Texas and then one day Roy came there on a business trip and they fell in love and he convinced her to move to New York with him and that was their story. When Sarah asked them how they met Vera just said that they met at a dinner party. She wouldn't dare mention anything else of soldier island.  
"Oh god! I'm not feeling so well," Sarah said when they were half an hour into dinner. She didn't look good either. Her face was all pale and she had her hand over her mouth like she was going to throw up. Sarah nearly fell out of the booth and then ran to the bathroom.  
While they were waiting for Sarah to return Philip spotted some of his "friends" and wanted excused himself to go say hi. Vera was finishing her dinner when she was suddenly aware of Roy being too close. He saw her notice. He put a firm hand on the middle of her thigh and held her there.  
"Roy," she began."Please get your hand off me."  
"I've seen you around Vera, at the school, don't tell me you don't want this."  
"I'm married, Mr. Adams, happily married and I'm friends with your wife and I teach your son so I want to make it very clear that I don't want anything to do with especially anything like this."  
She grabbed his hand to move it but he wouldn't let go.  
"People cheat all the time Vera." He lifted his other hand to her face and lightly caressed her hair and then down down all the way down. "It doesn't have to mean anything." He moved in close to her to breath his hot breath on her neck and then lightly kiss it. "It's just fun, we're just having a bit of fun."  
"Please get away from me," she said dully but he continued his advances.  
"Mr. Adams can you please sit a little further away from my wife." Philip stood at the end of the table calm and collected with an un readable expression upon his face. How much had he seen, Vera wondered. Roy jumped away from Vera to the other end of the booth and turned red.  
"Vera," he said angrily. Not as a question but as an order. Vera slid out of the booth and followed Philip out of the restaurant. Vera quietly got in the car but Philip sat down and slammed the door.  
"Okay Vera," he began."please tell me you were not trying to cheat on me."  
"No! How could you even think that?"  
"Well that's what it looked like from where I was standing!"  
"No I'm not cheating on you it was all him! He put his hands on me and kissed me it was all him!"  
Philips face went from unreadable to pissed off. He began to get out of the car but Bera grabbed his shirt.  
"What are you doing?"  
"What the hell do you think I'm doing Vera? I'm going to beat the shit out of the fucking bastard!"  
"Oh Philip just don't. His wife's there and she's clearly sick so just forget about it."  
"Forget about it," he yelled,"you think I'm going to fucking forget about it?"  
"Tonight. Forget about it tonight let's just go back to the hotel and go to sleep..."  
Philip sat back down and gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white he angrily glared out the window and his breaths came fast and raspy.  
Vera kissed him on the cheek. She was going to kiss him again when he turned his head and met her with another hard bruising kiss. He grabbed the back of her head and held her there. She pushed him into the corner between the window and the seat and climbed on top of his lap his hands rested firmly on her but.  
The car windows got foggy and Vera pulled his jacket down. Philip started hiking her dress up and Vera could feel him grow firmer and hot from the wetness between her thighs. He pulled out his cock and she began to get in position but he wouldn't let go of her. He held her there, at just the right spot where she could feel him against the folds of her sex but wouldn't let her lower herself onto him. He was teasing her. He kept sucking at her neck as he always enjoyed, leaving different sizes of marks against her soft skin. Oh she was desperate for him! She wanted him inside of her now.  
"Oh Philip," she moaned.  
"Say your mine," he said sternly against her skin. She moaned again from the sweet sensation of his lips and tongue and teeth against her.  
"Say it Vera," he ordered again. "Tell me how much you want me."  
She wanted him so bad. She struggled to move his hands so she could just do it herself but to no success.  
"Say it Vera," he said in between kisses. Vera was desperate for him now. To feel his thick cock inside of her.  
"I'm yours," she said. "I'm yours."  
Finally he kissed her once on the lips and rewarded her. He pulled her hips down on to him. Slowly at first but soon harder and faster. He dug his short fingernails into her hips as he lifted and pulled her back down.  
"You're so beautiful Vera," he says breathlessly. Vera takes his hands from her hips and moves them to the steering wheel. Philip raises his eyebrows at her and Vera laughs and leans in to kiss him.  
She lifts herself up off his swelling cock and then brings herself back down. She repeats this over and over again. Philip thrusts when she brings herself back down and she can't help but note how well they work together. She buries herself into his neck but keeps lifting herself by her knees. Their breath is hot and rapid and she can feel sweat dripping from her forehead. She brings her hand down to rub her clit, desperate to come. Philip grips the steering wheel and thrusts harder as she comes down on him faster.  
"Oh Philip," she screams. Hopefully no one was walking around outside the car.  
"Come Vera-I want to feel you- oh fuck Vera!"  
"Oh I'm so close-so close-oh," she moans, leaning against the steering wheel now. Philip let's go of the steering wheel and throws aside her hand that's rubbing her clit. He starts pinching it and moves his head to her neck to give more hickeys and the sensations are enough. The insides of her sex contract tightly around his cock and Vera wraps her arms around him and moans loudly into his shirt. She can't see or hear or feel anything anymore but that one great feeling of explosions and shockwaves taking over her body. And the pulsing inside of her.  
He keeps pinching her clit and sucking on her neck. She's gone stop now and he's doing all the work. He thrusts in and out of her and lifts her only a little as he's getting tired. She feels him come inside of her and all his muscles tense for a second and then she can feel him go weak. He roles her off of her and her head falls back on the seat. She's so tired she feels like she could just go to sleep right there.  
"Fuck Vera," Philip panted. Vera laughed but it was really just a weak smile as she let out a huff of air.  
"Are we going back now," she asked. "I'm so tired."  
Philip smirked and said, "something like that." 

They drove to a townhouse. Vera was half asleep when they got there so Philip picked her up and carried her through the door-as if they'd just married. He let her down.  
"Vera, wake up now."  
"I am awake." She opened her eyes and, now confused,looked around."where are we?"  
"We're at home Vera. I bought it yesterday. I figured you were growing tired of the hotel, I know I was."  
Vera could feel her heart racing. What did this mean. Everything was happening so fast. What if they broke up. It wasn't like they were really married.  
They were standing in a foryer. There was a staircase on the left wall and behind the left wall was an unfurnished dining room, behind the right wall was a large desolate space for a living room she assumed and through the open door in the back she could see some cabinets and assumed it was the kitchen.  
"You should've talked to me about this first..."  
"Why so we could have the same fight, I assume we're about to have, just a bit earlier?"  
"Philip I'm just saying that this is a big step! We're not even really married-"  
"We can get married Vera. You keep going back to that, if this is such a problem we can make it legal!"  
"Is that what you really want?" She was awake now. Her heart was hurting and she felt like she was suffocating. She was very awake.  
"Yes Vera, haven't you realized that that's been the point of everything I've done for you? Because I want to be closer to you? I want to marry you in my head I am but if legal what you want..." he trailed off and turned to face the wall. "I thought you'd be happy. I thought you wanted this with me too."  
"Don't do that." He turned around, angry now. "Don't do what," he asked sharply. "Try to love you?"  
"Oh my God Philip! Don't say that! Don't pretend you actually love me!"  
"Vera.." he took a step forward and put his hands on her shoulders. Too close, she thought. Too close. Her heart stopped for a moment when he touched her.  
"Don't touch me!" She yelled. Philip let go. "Please just stop trying! Stop lying! That's all that comes out of you, lies!" She couldn't catch her breath. She couldn't breathe at all. She felt like she was back in that noose choking.  
"Vera-"  
"No," she interrupted. "Please just don't say anything." She couldn't breathe and it was causing her to become even more panicky. Her palms were sweating and her head was spinning. She wondered silently if she was going mad. She wanted it all to stop. All the noises all the touching, the feelings, the moving. Everything was too loud and too tight.  
"Vera-listen to me," he began, making sure to keep a good distance. "I don't have relationships. I never have, I've never been in one. I have a lot of sex but I don't commit. But then I met you and goddammit Vera I promised you I'd keep you safe and I don't make promises to people. Before I met you I only cared about myself." Vera was shaking her head she couldn't hear what he was saying and she didn't want to believe any of it she just wanted the world to stop. Philip took her in his arms now and though she fought to get away from him he was to strong and he wouldn't let her go. He stayed quiet, ignoring her protests and her punches, and soon her breath evened and all that was left of panick attack were tears.  
"Vera I can tell you've been hurt and you have trust issues and probably a bad childhood and maybe someone didn't love you when they were supposed to but I do. I've never loved anyone like I love you. I love you Vera and i want you to stay with me. I don't care if you say it back I just want you to know that I really do love you and I want you in my life and I'm not going to leave you." She was crying uncontrollably. She wanted to be with him. She knew that. She loved him. She knew that too. She just couldn't bring herself to say it, she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On her way home from the school Vera has a wreck and memories of her dark past plague her even more.

Vera looked at the clock that hung on the wall. It was 5:00. She was almost done, you see it was a Friday and she'd given her students a test so she was staying late to get all of her grading finished. Her students were good at math, except for a few of course, but most were very good at math.  
The door to the classroom opened and Sarah Adams rushed in. Vera had been avoiding Sarah ever since the incident with Roy had happened. That was three weeks ago.  
"Vera, oh Vera, you're not going to believe it something wonderful has happened and I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner!"  
Sarah was clearly very excited. Vera just smiled at her. Sarah ran to Vera and pulled her up from the chair. She grabbed her hands and she was smiling so hard it must have hurt. Vera wondered if she was faking her excitement.  
"Go on Vera guess!"  
"I'd rather you just tell me," Vera said.  
"Okay," she began to calm down. "I'm pregnant!"  
"Really," Vera asked, pretending to be a little happy for her. She wished she could be happy for Sarah but Sarah was just so sweet and her husband was a cheater and poor Sarah thought they were happily married.  
"Yes! Oh I'm so happy Vera! I can't believe I didn't realize! I've been sick for forever but I just thought I was just a little under the weather you know?" She took in a breath. "Oh but now I know! You're the first person I've told too! Roy doesn't know yet but I'm sure he'll be just as happy, and Peter well he'll probably be a bit distant at first but I'm sure he'll get used to the baby and grow to love it so much! Oh if it's a boy I'm going to name him Joseph and if it's a girl her name will be Anne. That's a pretty name don't you think?"  
"Yes they're both lovely." Sarah smile grew wider. "How far along are you?" Vera asked. She wondered if it was normal to be this excited about a pregnancy if you weren't even showing.  
"Only eight weeks," she said,"so I figure I'll take a year or so off from teaching so I can take care of the baby but I definitely want to get back to school, I love teaching here the kids are so nice and well you're my best friend." Vera smiled. She knew Sarah thought of her as her best friend even if Vera didn't think the same. Vera wished that she was even the slightest bit of happy for her but she wasn't. She wouldn't be until Sarah left Roy. That probably wouldn't happen though. Vera was a good liar so at least Sarah thought she was excited for her.  
Vera finished her grading and since she'd taken the car, because she and Philip lived a good distance from the school, she drove Sarah home. She took the same road she'd been taking for three weeks now. It was a road that never had much traffic. It was pretty to drive too, especially in the fall.  
Vera couldn't get Sarah and her unborn baby off her mind. But as always, thinking about children brought up that one child. She could feel him with her soaking up the passenger seat with that salty sea water he died in.  
And with Cyril came the voices. Or just voice really. Hugo's voice. He'd known from the beginning that it was her fault. That she'd killed him. He'd told her that he'd make her hang. Over and over those words replayed in her head. And Cyril she could feel him and it was worse then seeing him. She could hear him asking to swim and her finally giving in. His mothers screams for him when she saw him lying there. Oh poor Mrs. Hamilton.  
She looked at the seat next to her and confirmed what she already knew would be there. Poor Cyril looked at her like he had when he'd led her to the noose on Soldier Island. Vera's breath caught in her throught and she jerked her head away from him and set her eyes back on the road. When she looked again he wasn't there anymore.  
She was almost happy that she'd made him leave but she knew she hadn't she couldn't see him anywhere but she could feel him around her. Even through her glossy eyes she could see him perfectly. He stood in the middle of the road and called out her name and asked to swim. She screamed and swerved to miss him. Swerved to miss something that wasn't even there.  
The car spun in circles and Vera gripped the steering whe for something to hold on to. Finally it stopped. It ran straight into a large wooden light post. The force of the car hitting the light post was a lot and Vera's head went down and slammed into the steering wheel. Once it was over she knew Cyril was gone. She wanted out of the car and it seemed she couldn't get out quick enough she pushed open the door and jumped out falling and rolling on the road in the process. She didn't bother to look at the road rash or notice the blood streaming down her face.  
Vera had been driving down this road for three weeks so she knew that there was a gas station a little further up the road. She left her car and walked, what turned into four miles, to the small brick Texaco with two gas pumps out front. The bell above the door rang as she walked in. There was a plump man sitting behind the counter reading the newspaper. He had his feet propped up on the counter.  
"I need to use your phone," Vera said breathlessly. The man pointed to a little wooden station on the wall without looking up. Vera rushed to the phone and dialed her home number. The phone rang. Oh please be home, she wished to herself. It rang again and again until he finally picked up.  
"Hello," he said. He sounded busy.  
"Hey, it's Vera. Are you busy right now?"  
"Oh just making dinner. What's wrong?"  
"I...may have crashed the car into a lamppost..." she expected him to blow up at her over the car. They'd only bought it a few weeks ago.  
"Fuck," he said under his breath. "You crashed it," he asked completely calm.  
"Yes..."  
"Well are you alright," he asked.  
"Yes, I'm fine. But the cars not." Now she was just pushing it. He didn't ask much about the car or yell at her for crashing it. And the car cost money. And they needed the car. So he should be yelling. It really confused her so she thought she'd just remind him about the car.  
"The cars really bad actually..."  
"Vera, we can talk about the car later. Where are you I'll come get you," he said. She told him where she was and sat outside on the bench while he waited. She looked down at her shirt. Even though her nose had stopped bleeding the blood had stained her white shirt in one big mess. Here was barely any white left. It was a good thing she wore a navy skirt.  
Philip pulled up to the gas station in Mark Robinsons car. Mark was their next door neighbor, he was married to Maria. They'd been married for five years now. Mark was a police officer and Maria was just a house wife. From what Vera understood she really didn't do much. Vera had never spoken to either of them only seen them from the window every now and then.  
Philip stepped out of the car and sat down next to her. He turned her face towards his and checked her for a broken nose, thankfully it was fine.  
"Are you okay," he asked. "Is this it."  
"Yes. I just couldn't drive the car home so I called you." Again with the car but not one of his actions made her think that was the first thing on his mind.  
"I don't need to take you to the hospital," he asked.  
"No. I'm fine, really."  
"Okay well let's go see the car." Philip and Vera headed towards the car. As she got closer she saw mark was in there too. Vera sat in the middle of them while they drove to the wreck. When they got their he stopped and turned the car off.  
"So," Philip started. "What happened?"  
"Well you see there was a rabbit in the road and I swerved to miss it and then the car started spinning and it landed in the lamppost..."  
"It's just a good thing you're okay," Mark chimed in. "Could've been a lot worse."  
"I suppose..."  
Mark and Philip wanted to inspect the car and they made Vera get out and explain what happened.  
"Well I saw a rabbit and I swerved to miss it and then I wrecked."  
"So where was the rabbit," asked Mark.  
"Somewhere over there." Vera pointed aimlessly to the road.  
They spent about fifteen more minutes before Philip had Mark leave to go call a tow truck.  
"Are you sure your okay?"  
"Yes," she started. She was getting tired of these questions. "I'm fine. Really I am. Just...I'm really sorry about the car, I know you must be pissed at me-"  
"Oh Vera don't you know I don't care about the car," he yelled. "We can get a new car, we've got enough money. I can't get a new you though. And you're a good driver, I've been in the car with you, how did a rabbit do all this," he yelled pointing at the car.  
"I don't know sometimes things like this just happen-"  
"I swear if you lie to me again..."  
"You'll what," Vera asked. She knew she shouldn't test him like this but she really wanted to know.  
"Huh? You'll hit me?" He didn't look at her.  
"No, I won't hit you," he whispered.  
"Then what," she yelled. He usually didn't stay this calm. The calm scared her. "Oh come on Philip! Why aren't you yelling at me about the car. I crashed the car surely you care a little," she yelled again.  
He still didn't look at her. "I really don't care about the car," he said.  
"You're thinking about it. You're thinking about hitting me. Aren't you! Well go on do it! I can take it-"  
"Just shut up!" She did. That was enough to keep her quiet. She knew the calm was probably over now.  
"I don't care about the car Vera! If it's you or the car I choose you and I'm glad you're okay, but goddammit Vera I told you not to lie to me and you're doing it again! Again! Really!"  
"I'm not lying. I told you the truth-"  
"And I told you to shut up!" She sat on the ground and leaned against the tire while he paced around and pinched his nose. Mark came up a little while later with the tow truck behind him. They hooked up the car and the tow truck left after everything was arranged. Vera didn't stay for any of that. She sat in Marks car and waited for them instead. Mark drove home this time. And they were quiet the whole ride besides Mark going on about some police stories from a week ago. When they pulled up to the house they said goodnight and Philip and Vera went to their house.  
"Okay Vera, we're alone. It's just you and me. Tell me what happened."  
"I did," she said through gritted teeth. She went to the bathroom to wash her face. Philip stood at the doorway and watched as he interrogated her. Damn him for being able to read me, she thought.  
"I just don't understand why it's such a secret." She sighed. And turned to him one was the blood was off. "I'm going to take a bath." She raised her eyebrows when he didn't leave.  
"Fine," he said. "But we're not done with this. You can't just lie to me. I'm your husband. And like I said Vera, it's not worth it if it doesn't work on me."  
Vera closed the door as he backed up. She couldn't leave the bathroom so she started the bath and took off her clothes and sat in the water as she waited for it to fill up. She couldn't tell him the truth. He wouldn't understand. He'd killed more than 21 people and so far hadn't had a problem with it. Vera had only killed one child and was being haunted by him. She didn't even really feel bad about it. She'd done what she'd done, it happened, she knew that. But for some reason knowing it didn't help. Sometimes she thought it was a good thing that Cyril died. Now he'd be a kid forever and nevef have any of the terrible things in life. And he was too young to care about any of the good things, though there aren't many.  
She knew why Cyril haunted her. But she couldn't tell Philip that. She hated to think about it too. To bring up those terrible memories that made it so easy to kill a child. No she couldn't do it. She'd lie to him whether he liked it or not. She couldn't talk about her past. Too damaging. Too sick.  
She'd realized where it all came from on Soldier Island, when she saw that noose. All the memories came flooding back. All the terrible memories that had made her into the cold and sick and twisted person she is now. The person Philip loved but he didn't know the facts and she could never tell him. She knew that like everyone else he would never come back and just turn into one of her demons that follow her everywhere. That was the last thing she wanted. This is why you don't fall in love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera is losing sleep over nightmares. Philip wishes she'd talk to him about it.

Vera woke up sweating and gasping for breath. It was a bad dream. Another bad dream. She'd been having them since she wrecked the car a week ago. It always started the same she was running on the beach, pretending to try and save Cyril, when suddenly the sand turned to mud. Thick, sticky mud and she got stuck. Her heart raced when she realized that everyone would know what she'd done if she didn't try to "save" Cyril. She knew if she couldn't get out of the mud there was no lie she could sell. And sure enough, as she sunk deeper into the mud, Hugo and Mrs. Hamilton were there and Cyril was lying pale on the sand. They knew, they all knew. They cursed at her and told her that she'd hang. Vera tried to tell them it wasn't her but they didn't believe her and she sunk deeper into the mud until she was drowning in it. She gasped for air and when she was sure that she'd drown she could feel herself falling and then hit the ground with a hard thump. She could feel road rash on her and she was bleeding everywhere but could never find the source. And then she was there, her mother, telling her it had all been her fault. She didn't touch her but Vera could feel the stings of slaps and razors. It hadn't been her fault had it? Surely not. Her mother was just saying that. Twisting everything as always.  
Vera woke up when she finally couldn't take not being able to breathe anymore. She later there panting. She looked to her right and saw Philip lay sleeping next to her. She was always afraid that her tossing and turning and panting would wake him but he always stayed asleep. Though if you looked at him sleeping you'd think that the slightest movement would wake him up.  
Vera checked the clock. It was 4:40 she got up to take a bath. Carefully so he wouldn't wake up. She was glad he didn't know she'd been having nightmares the past week. If he did he'd question her on all kinds of history and family past that she didn't want to talk about.  
She bent her knees to lay on her back in the tub. She let the water fill around her even at that awkward part where the water has only halfway covered your ears. She turned the water off with her foot and then sat up and hugged her knees. Philip knocked and walked in. He pulled up a stool and sat down next to the bathtub.  
"You're up early," he said.  
"I didn't sleep well," she started. "What about you?"  
He shrugged. "I'm not used to sleeping without you I guess," he said. She smiled weakly.  
"What's wrong? You've seemed off all week. Vera if it's about the car I really don't care and if it's about the fight it's over now."  
"I know." They'd had a bad fight that night. And it wasn't even about the car. 'You're not talking to me,' he'd said. 'I don't have anything to tell you.' She'd yelled back. He'd told her that there'd been together for a few months came back from Soldier Island in one piece and he still didn't know anything about her other than that she'd killed Cyril. She couldn't believe he'd actually said it. Yes she'd done it but it just wasn't something you say. Other than that he'd said about every other thing but I'm going to leave you if you don't start talking.  
"Are you sick?" He asked. It caught her off guard. No, she wasn't sick.  
"No. Why?"  
"Well you've got purple under your eyes and you're always tired."  
"I haven't been sleeping." He nodded. She was sure he was going to try and question her now. She looked away and started to think of ways to get out of that long conversation. She could hear him moving around now. And then the water rose and he pulled her closer to him in the tub. He grabbed a rag and soap and began to bathe her.  
"Do you have work today," he asked against her skin.  
She laughed. "I'm a teacher, Philip I have work every Monday through Friday."  
"Can't you call in sick?" He pulled her closer to him. She could feel him hard against her and getting harder. He brought the wash cloth down her stomach and then went up and down each of her legs. "I want you all to myself today." He said bringing the rag back up to her breasts.  
"Hmm...you know school doesn't start until eight..."  
"Oh?" He started sucking at the Nape of her neck. He pinched her nipple through the washcloth. She leaned back into him and moaned. He stopped caressing and pinching all to soon. He pushed her up and took shampoo and washed her hair and then started over with the conditioner. She laughed when he poured the cup of water on her. She turned around and sat on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Philip rested his hands on her ass and kissed her rougher. Vera was getting lost in it. Drunk on him and everything about him. She didn't want it to end.  
The phone rang in the other room. Vera began to get off him to answer it but he grabbed her and pressed his lips against hers once more.  
"They'll call back if it's important." She almost gave in but thought better of it.  
"I've got to go get dressed anyways."  
"Do it later..." he said while he bit at her earlobe. The phone rang for the third time. She pushed him away.  
"No," she said. "Just bathe you're too dirty anyway." She stepped out of the tub.  
He smirked. "Oh a bath won't fix that darling." Vera rolled her eyes as she wrapped a towel around her self and ran to the phone. She picked it up just in time.  
"Hello?" She asked glancing at the time which was 6:00 and wondered who was calling this early.  
"Hi it's Sarah, I was wondering if you were still going to need a ride to the school today," she said.  
"Oh, one second." Vera put the phone against the towel and yelled to the bathroom. "Philip are you going to have to work today?"  
"Probably," he yelled back. "Yeah, go ahead and get Sarah to drive you again."  
"Yes, is that alright." She asked Sarah.  
"Oh it's perfect! I'll pick you up around 7:30."  
"Ok." Vera hung up. When she turned around Philip walked through the door with a towel wrapped around his waist. She remembered the firs time she'd seen those washboard abs and had showed off her body in the skin tight bathing suit. She looked good in that bathing suit. It was her favorite.  
"Sarah," he asked. "Yes, she's picking me up around 7:30."  
"You know, I can drive you."  
"I don't want you to have to go so far out of your way." They didn't work close at all. And Philip didn't want her to drive right now.  
"Roy doesn't go with her right," she could basically feel the hatred in his voice.  
"No he won't be there," she answered. "Did I tell you that Sarah's pregnant?"  
"No I don't think so..." he trailed off. "She's very excited so if you're thinking about saying something to her you shouldn't." Philip looked up at her.  
"What makes you think I was going to say something?" Vera laughed and walked to the closet to get dressed. They had breakfast and Vera got up when she saw Sarah arrive. She and Philip shared one of their passionate kisses and he eyed the car suspiciously, looking for Roy as Vera walked down the driveway.  
"Hi, you're Vera Lombard right?" Said a voice that was raking leaves in front of the house next to hers. She looked for the voice and found a girl with brown hair pulled back with a red bandana, and a green dress decorated with flowers.  
"Yes..."Vera answered.  
"Hi." The lady walked up to the fence and held out her hand. "I'm Maria Robinson, Marks wife. I heard that you had a wreck are you alright, I mean you look alright- but are you okay..." Vera took her hand and shook  
"Oh yes I'm fine thank you for asking."  
"Well I'm glad. When Mark told me that my next door neighbor had wrecked her car pretty bad I just had to pray and I'm so glad God took care of you." Vera had known Maria's type before. Thankfully she wasn't like Ms. Brent. Ms. Brent was just a bad Christian.  
"I meant to stop by," she continued. "But I'm not really good with meeting people or get well gifts."  
"Oh no get well gifts needed," she laughed. "You know I've got to go to work but I'd love to catch up another time Maria."  
"Oh of course have a nice day."  
"You too," she yelled as she walked to the car.  
In the car Sarah asked, "Who was that?"  
"My next door neighbor Maria. Just wanted to ask about the wreck."  
"Oh..." Sarah made conversation the whole time to the school mostly about her morning sickness. Then they separated for their classes.  
Vera's classes went by slowly today. All the kids were tired and a few slept the whole time. None of them understood the math even when she basically spelled it out for them. She was so frustrated with them that for a moment she forgot about her nightmares, and her mother. Until her classes were over and she spent her lunch break with her head on her desk only to have the nightmare again. This time it was longer. She felt trapped in the dream like there was no way she could get out.  
Roger Smith was a third year boy. He had gotten back to school early from his lunch break and as he walked the halls getting ready for his next class he could hear the math teacher crying. He walked cautiously to Vera's room and was surprised to find her asleep. He ran to her desk and tapped on her shoulder.  
"Mrs. Lombard... Mrs. Lombard wake up, it's only a nightmare.... Mrs. Lombard...."  
Vera jerked up from the desk and was once again gasping for breath. "Mrs. Lombard would you like me to take you to the nurse," Roger asked.  
"No," she painted. "Thank you but I'm fine."  
"You don't look fine. You look scared. Was it a bad dream?"  
"Yes. It was a bad dream."  
"I get bad dreams sometimes. But don't worry they're only dreams. They aren't real."  
Trying to change the conversation she asked, "How was your lunch Roger?"  
"It was good. Mom made me a turkey sandwich. How was your lunch?" It was funny how kids could just switch from one conversation to another, no questions asked.  
"I haven't eaten yet."  
"Why do you talk funny," he asked, referring to her British accent.  
"I'm from England and I think you talk funny," That made him laugh. They talked a little bit before she told him to go to class. She thought her next class, who were a bit more lively after lunch. She soon decided she better call Philip to see if he'd pick her up, Sarah had a doctors appointment and Roy would go and Philip would kill her if she rode with Roy.  
"Hey," she said when he answered. "I was wondering if you'd pick me up today. Sarah has a doctors appointment."  
"Yeah 3:30 right," he asked.  
"Yes." He seemed distracted.  
"I'm sorry if I called at a bad time..."  
"No darling you're fine."  
"Okay well I've got a class so..."  
"Yeah I'll see you later."  
Philip came in at 3:15. He walked over behind her and kissed her on the cheek.  
"Did you have a good day."  
"Yes, did you?"  
"It was alright." He moved to one of the front row desks and sat down.  
"What are you doing," he asked.  
"Grading papers, do you want to help?"  
"Sure." Philip picked up a stack of ungraded papers and sat down. Vera was glad he'd help. She hated taking her work home. At 3:30 he put a stack of graded papers on her desk and asked if she was ready to go.  
"It's 3 more papers darling can't you do them in the morning?"  
"Why would I finish these in the morning if I can get them done now?"  
"Because I'm here," he said as he walked behind her.. "and you've got better things to do." He moved her hair and kissed her neck. He pulled her chair out from the desk and picked her up and moved her to where he sat on the chair and she straddled him. He moved his teeth from her skin to her lips and bit. She moaned into his mouth with a sensation of pain and pleasure. She could feel him under his trousers and her skirt. He unbuttoned her blouse and pulled her bra down to expose her breasts. He took one in his mouth and rolled her nipple in between his teeth and then licked around it. With his hands Philip pulled her skirt up to her waist and unzipped his pants. She could feel the warm bulge beneath his underwear growing thicker. Philip kept his hand down and rubbed her clit to get her wetter. Vera bit her tongue to keep quiet. She knew there were still people at the school. It was hard to keep it all in. And finally when she felt him enter her, she nuzzled her head into his neck to muffle the sound of her soft cries.  
His hands explored her body and his nails dug into her soft skin when he lifted her off and on all of his hardness. Vera tugged at his hair and he groaned quietly. She felt proud. She started rocking her hips against his thrusts, colliding perfectly in a hot, sticky mess.  
They were careful to try and not make a sound but a few moans and groans slipped out. Soon Vera couldn't keep it in any longer. She wanted so much to scream from the pleasure but knew they'd be caught. She bit at the skin of his shoulder so no one heard her. She knew Philip was holding his breath when they both exploded into waves of pleasure. It left Vera shaking.  
As always Philip recovered before her and zipped his pants back, buttoned her shirt back. And held her as she still straddled him.  
"Can you grade in the morning," he asked laughing.  
"I think so..."she said.  
Philip grinned. " Hopefully you won't get fired," he began. "You were pretty loud." He laughed again. She smiled.  
" Yeah we better go ahead and slip out quietly so if they ask we can pretend we weren't here." They snuck out of the school and got to the car unnoticed. Thankfully it was never brought up.  
When they got home they ate dinner and had sex again but this time in bed. Vera fell asleep in his arms and not long after, the nightmare started once again. But worse as it always was. Each time it got worse. Vera woke Up to Philip shaking her.  
"Vera," he said. " Vera wake up." She woke up with a start. When she saw him for the first time ever she wanted someone to hold on to. She hugged him close. Clinging to him for security. He rocked her realizing that it was truly terrible. After a few minutes he began to talk.  
"What was it about," he asked. For the first time she began to cry. She cried and shook uncontrollably.  
"I can't tell you," she cried. "I can't."  
"Why not Vera," he asked as he caressed her back trying to calm her down. "Why can't you tell me what's wrong. I want to know, Vera I need to know. This is going to eat you alive."  
"No, I can't-I can't do it-it's terrible," she cried again she knew she'd have to tell him and he wouldn't be able to look at her. So she clung to him tighter because she didn't know how much longer she'd have him.  
"I don't care what it is Vera. I care about you. Why can't you tell me?"  
"Because you'll hate me!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plagued with nightmares and her past, Vera's demons threaten to ruin everything.

The nightmares didn't stop. Vera still woke up crying in the middle of the night. If anything they just got worse. But Philip was there for her now. Now that he knew about her bad dreams he slept close to Vera and woke up immediately when he couldn't feel her breathe anymore.  
She liked that he was there. He'd hold her until she calmed down and fell back asleep and if that didn't work then he'd do...other things...  
He didn't ask questions either. He knew she didn't want to talk about it. And it would just cause a huge fight and he needed to be there for her. He didn't say it anymore but he was worried. Her nightmares got worse and worse.  
Philip wasn't there now though. He'd left a week ago. Said he had business to take care of. He'd left reluctantly, very reluctantly. He seemed scared that she wouldn't be able to wake herself up from the dreams and she'd just quit breathing. Vera had assured him that that wouldn't happen but now she missed him and wished she'd told him to stay when he asked her to.  
Then again it was good that he was gone because she kept seeing them. Cyril, Hugo, Mrs. Hamilton. And now her mother, her brother, and her dad hanging from the ceiling. Often she'd be teaching and she'd stop right in her tracks and it'd take at least two of the students to get her back to reality and after she was back she couldn't teach well. She was worried they were watching her, hating her, as they always did. It was a good thing it was Saturday, Vera wasn't up for teaching today  
She laid in bed until one in the afternoon. That really wasn't like her to lay in bed all day, but she didn't want to get up.  
The phone rang. Vera made her way down the stairs and to the kitchen where the phone hung on the wall.  
"Hello," she said when she picked it up. It was Maria on the phone.  
"Hi, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch. I've got nothing to do..."  
"Sure, I'll be ready soon," Vera answered. She and Maria had talked every morning since that one morning by the fence. She hung up and dragged herself back up the stairs. She had a headache. A bad one. She took some medicine and got dressed.  
She and Maria walked out of their houses at the same time. They walked to a nearby restaurant and sat down in a booth.  
"Where's Philip gone," Maria asked. "I haven't seen him around."  
"He's on a trip, he should be back soon," Vera answered. She picked at her foot and drank her water in sips.  
"Have you already eaten," Maria asked as she took another bite of her food.  
"I'm just not very hungry."  
"So you're a teacher," Maria asked trying to start a conversation.  
"Yes, I teach math."  
"Why did you choose to be a math teacher?"  
"I like math."  
"Oh," she said quietly, "And how did you and Philip meet?"  
"We met at a dinner party."  
"Oh," Maria said when she realized her efforts would be useless.  
"I'll be right back," Vera said. She got up and headed towards the restroom. She splashed some water on her face and unbuttoned a button. She was burning up. When she brought her face away from the towel she saw it. She didn't scream, or move, or even flinch when she saw her mother standing in the mirror. Her brown hair that was much like Vera's. Her dress that stopped at her shins. And the long, hideous, cuts in the middle of her wrists that you couldn't make out due to all the blood. So much blood.  
'You did this,' screamed her mother. 'It's all your fault!' Vera started shaking her head. It wasn't her fault, not at all. It wasn't. The bathroom door opened and everything was now as it should be. Vera hurried back to the booth.  
"We should go," Vera said to Maria when she was at the table.  
"Okay, sure, why so sudden though? Is everything alright," asked Maria as she gathered her things and scooted out the booth.  
"Yes, everything's fine-we should find the waitress."  
"Oh no need I've already paid for it."  
"Oh, I was going to pay for my food. Do you want me to pay you back," Vera said as she started reaching into her own purse. Maria placed her hand on Vera's arm to stop her.  
"Don't bother Vera, it's fine, really," she said with a smile.  
Vera shook her head, "well I'll get if next time then," she said. Vera couldn't have gotten out of the restaurant fast enough. Maria and Vera didn't go home instead they went shopping because all of Maria's good church dresses were old and she wanted new ones. Vera didn't mind. Now that she was with Maria she didn't want to be home alone. If she was alone it would be easier for her to see those-whatever they are's that are making her go crazy. She didn't want to see them.  
Vera shut the door to the house and leaned against it. It was now six o'clock. She'd had fun shopping with Maria. Even got a few things herself. And after it all was over she and Maria parted ways with a promise to do it all again. She liked Maria. But now she was alone again.  
She was exhausted and all she wanted to do now was take a bath and go to sleep. She turned the water on, took off her clothes, and got in the tub.  
It all came back to her. She remembered the day she came home to find her father dead. She could remember his body swaying and the little sounds the rope made due to the weight. How happy she'd been when she thought it'd all be over. He won't ever hurt you or mum again she'd told herself. But that had been a lie. Vera never knew what she did to make her father kill himself she didn't even know it was her fault until her mother told her it was. And man did she tell her.  
Vera remembered well what it felt like to be held under the water. That had been the first time. And then the beatings and feeling so alone at such a young age. Preferring her fathers sick advances over her mothers painful ones. And then finally when the pain was all over. At least the physical part. It always plagued her. As an adult Vera could constantly find herself searching her brain for answers for why her father did that. It always led to one thing. But how could that be her fault?  
Now she saw her mother. She tried to stop thinking about it but it was no use. Her mother gripped her neck with her long bloody fingers. Vera was choking. She pushed her back into the water. Vera clawed at her mothers hands to get away but it didn't work. She pushed her down to the bottom of the tub. Vera struggled against those cold hands. She coughed up water. Water was in her ears and nose and mouth. Trying hard to fill her lungs. She couldn't get out from under the water. She laid there, drowning. Wondering if this is what poor Cyril felt. Or was what he felt some how worse. Vera gave up. There was no use. Her mother was stronger. She laid in the water and waited for that sweet death to come. She waited...waited...waited.  
It was uncomfortable. Not being able to breathe. But in a way this is what she wanted. She'd never see her mother again now. Or her father, or poor brother, or Cyril, Hugo, or Mrs. Hamilton. Everything would all be over. Maybe it would even be peaceful. She let the water fill her lungs.  
Something grabbed her arms and jerked her up from the water and pulled her out of the tub. She was being cradled by someone. She started coughing up water and when she opened her eyes she saw that it was Philip who had pulled her from the water.  
"What the fuck, Vera," he yelled. "Do you not know how to take a fucking bath?"  
"I'm sorry," she coughed. "I don't know what happened." She couched more water up.  
Philip reached for a towel and put it around her.  
"Okay, Vera. I've been nice. I haven't questioned you on your nightmares. I haven't gotten pissed off when you refuse to tell me something. But I'm pretty fucking pissed now. You better fess up, Vera."  
Vera looked down.  
"Do you think I'm fucking joking? You tried to fucking kill yourself!"  
Vera didn't answer this time either. It only made him angrier.  
"Goddammit Vera I'm fucking tired of this shit! Tell me! Now!"  
Vera still didn't look at him. "Fine," she said quietly, "what do you want to know?"  
"Well for starters why'd you try to fucking drown yourself," he said in a quieter but not any less pissed off than earlier voice.  
"I didn't mean to," she began. "I've been seeing things. That's why I had the wreck and that's why I...tried to drown myself..."  
Philip nodded.  
"And the nightmares?"  
"Yes it's all the same." He nodded again.  
"Is it Cyril." Vera finally looked up at him. "Are you...regretting it."  
"No," she said. "I did it for a reason. Cyril's not the problem. Although he's why I had the wreck."  
"So you don't regret it? Because you did it out of love?" Vera laughed. It was sharp and dangerous.  
"I didn't kill Cyril because I loved Hugo. I'm not even sure that I did love Hugo."  
"So why'd you do it then," he asked quietly.  
Vera took a deep breath. "I wanted to see if I was capable of it. Of murder." I wanted to see if my mother was right about me being sick and twisted and evil, Vera thought, she was.  
"Why would you even think that," he asked.  
"My mother told me I would never be anything more then worthless and evil. I thought I'd test it out. Of course i didn't apply for the job with killing Cyril in mind. I was quite fond of him. He was funny. But then Hugo came along and I thought I could be happy with him. Maybe. It was a good time to test it out. I didn't think that I'd actually be able to go through with it. I told myself that maybe Cyril would be able to make it to the rock. And all I'd have to do is tell his mother that he ran off. Or maybe I'd give in and try to save him. But no. I was completely capable."  
He nodded. After a few minutes he started to talk again. "So you're mother was abusive?"  
Vera shrugged. She was very abusive but all she could do was shrug.  
"And your father," he continued.  
"My father," she started. "Yes, I suppose he was abusive. But in a different way."  
Philip stared at her. She forgot how mad he gets about these kind of things.  
"What do you mean," he tried to hide any hint of rage. Vera just looked at him and slightly nodded so he understood. You could tell he was angry now.  
"Is he dead yet," he asked through gritted teeth. Part of him hoped he was still alive so he could take care of it himself. Well not part of him- most of him.  
"Yes he's dead. When I was eight I got home and found that he'd hung himself. My mother told me it was my fault. And that's when she started beating me."  
"Did she know." Vera nodded. There was more to the story, more to why her mother hated her, but she couldn't say it now. Not now.  
"Is your mother still alive," he asked.  
"No," she started. How she died was truly terrible. Of course he'd ask.  
"How'd it happen."  
"She killed herself when I was ten," she began. "I was reading and she grabbed me and dragged me down the stairs. She tied me to the seat to make me watch. Then she took the knife. She held the blade at my wrists for a while. She told me that this was all my fault. I started to cry and she slapped me with the hand that wasn't holding the knife. I thought she was going to cut me. She kept dragging it along my arms but never hard enough to actually cut. And then she got up and without any hesitation slit her own wrists and made me watch her bleed out and die. I started screaming and then neighbors heard and found us."  
Philip didn't respond. He didn't know what to tell her. It worried Vera now she was sure he saw what her mother and father saw in her. He'd leave her now, she knew he would. She'd scared him off. Vera fastened the towel around her and left Philip sitting on the floor.  
Vera wouldn't make him leave. She'd leave. It was the least she could do. She started to pack her things. Philip stood by the door and watched her.  
"What are you doing," he asked after a few minutes.  
"I knew this would happen if I told you this," she said while she packed. "I'm leaving. Making things easier for you."  
Philip walked to the bed where her suit case was and pulled out a stack of clothes.  
"Do you really think you leaving would make things easier for me?"  
"Now that you know the truth you probably see what mum and dad did," she said quietly.  
"Vera," he began. "Vera, Vera, Vera. I have killed a lot of people for diamonds and money, and other things I don't care to admit right now. Do you honestly think that I'm in any position to judge you?"  
"Yes but you didn't say anything-"  
"Vera," he interrupted. "I didn't say anything because I love you and I just found out that your mother scarred you so bad that it's affecting you now and your dad used to rape you. I didnt say anything because I was angry that your father's dead and I'm not the one that killed him. It wasn't okay none of that was okay. And none of it was your fault either so stop thinking that. What your parents did to you was terrible and they did it because they were fucking terrible people and they deserve what they got. I didn't say anything because if I wouldn't have gotten home when I did you'd be dead. And you didn't survive your dad, your mum, and whatever the hell else happened to you 'cause I'm sure you haven't told me everything, and the fucking Island to just drown yourself. I didn't move here with you and love you so that you can just leave me." He took out another stack of clothes. " I love you Vera. And I don't love people but I love you. Dont you get it? I love everything about you and I love the sick and twisted part the most because that's what brought us together and it's why we're together now."  
"I love you too, Philip. I'm sorry, and it won't happen again." Vera leaned in to kiss him but he beat her to it. He pressed his lips to hers and grabbed her ass and used that to lift her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist. The towel was nearly off now. Philip carried her to the door where they fucked like they did on that one drunken night on Soldier Island. They did it on the door and twice on the bed. One where Philip sat on the bed and Vera on top of him, another laying down. She loved him, and he loved her. Everything about her, especially the bad parts. But could he love the parts he didn't know about her yet? Now that she thought about it, it seemed like she was never not hiding something from him and everyone else. The only difference between him and everyone else was that he knew when she was hiding something. He wouldn't let her get away with it for long.


	8. Chapter 8

Philips POV:

Dublin, Ireland   
May 31, 1923

There was something tickling my forehead. It was the beads of sweat that were caused by sharing a stuffy room with my brother. I wiped them away. It was hard to move but by now I was used to the pain that came the day after a belt to the back. Of course there wasn’t anything you could do about it. Not without getting called a pussy or getting more-most likely both. I stopped swearing under my breath when I remembered what day it was. It was my birthday and I was sixteen today.   
Something was off. It was quiet. My room was quiet, the whole goddammed apartment was quiet. Where was it all? Where were the loud men coming home from spending the night at the pub and why were there wives not getting on to them for spending the few shillings they had on the drinks instead of the rent?   
My brother, Peter, was sleeping on the mattress beside me. He had turned fourteen two months ago and my mother cried when he turned fourteen because she was thinking about all the other children she’d had that didn’t even make it to four. I hurled a pillow at the lazy bastard and started to get dressed.   
Down the hallway my father was still drunk from the night before. I guess he’d gotten a late start, I guess that’s why he acknowledged my birthday. He saw me and his bright blue eyes got a little bit brighter. He ran up and patted me right on the welts that he’d left just hours ago. I bit my tongue, you can’t act like it hurts because he doesn’t remember and you’re being ungrateful because he’s trying to tell you happy birthday. To be honest I didn’t know he knew when my birthday was. My mother knew, she knew every year, and even though he didn’t speak of it she always told me happy birthday.   
The three of us sat at the table while my father danced around the room singing praise for Ireland and how the civil war, that meant nothing to him when he was sober, had finally come to an end.  
The way to school was normal. Peter went on and on about how one day he was going to kill him. “I don’t care what you say Philip, He’s no father of mine he means nothing to me and the next time he tries to beat the fuck outa mom or you or anyone will be the last time.”  
“Fuck, Peter I’m not doing this again. Everyday you say the same thing but we both know that you’ll never do it.”  
“If you’ve got something to say than say it,” Peter challenged me.  
“You’re a goddamn pussy you couldn’t handle it. You’d be crying to mam the next day.” I laughed when his face got red. “Oh go on Peter, throw your tantrum, you know I’m right.”  
“Fuck you, I’m not a pussy,” he yelled as he started throwing rocks at me. One punch to the stomach put him back in his place. It was a normal day.  
But that’s the thing about normal days: everydays normal until it’s just not anymore. And choices can change your life forever. I think the choice to postpone lunch a few minutes to talk to Frank Walsh about everything Margaret Campbell and I did behind her fathers store the other day was the choice that changed everything. Maybe I wouldn’t have had to shove my way through the crowd circled around what seemed to be a fight. But it wasn’t a fight- not anymore.  
Frank and I were late and we pushed our way to the front. I saw a boy that I barely knew, way bigger than my brother, standing over my own brother. Maybe I wouldn’t have known immediately what had happened if that boy hadn’t looked so scared. Peter was laying on the ground. His face covered in blood and a things were already starting to swell up. I walked to Peter and kneeled beside him to confirm what I already knew. Up close he looked worse. You could see ribs poking under his shirt and god there was so much blood. He was as good as dead.  
My mother burst through the door alone she ran to his bed. When she was close you could see her puffy cheeks and watery eyes that just kept overflowing.   
“What happened,” she screamed.  
“I don’t know,” I said. It wasn’t really the truth. Peter had a big mouth and he was always hungry for a fight. There was no doubt he threw the first punch; he’d started fights before. She didn’t have to ask me what happened.  
Mam begged god for her son back and cursed him when Peter remained motionless. She cried and screamed and I realized it was just me now. I wondered how a day that was so normal change so fast.  
We walked home in the rain. Neither of us cried neither of us said a word. I didn’t want to go home and I didn’t plan on it. Why would I go back to the room I shared with Peter. I planned on going to the pub after walking my mother home. There was one near that would let me in as long as I acted like I was supposed to be there. Plans change.   
I went to my room like I was supposed to when my dad picked a fight with my mam. I covered my ears so I couldn’t hear all the wailing and the sounds but I’d finally heard my mom cry enough. I can’t tell you what I was thinking. I can’t even tell you what happened. All I can say is one minute I was in my room and the next I was the one standing over a bloody mess. My mother was crying and begging me to stop but I couldn’t. I don’t know if I meant to kill him-I think I just wanted him to stop- but once I started I kept thinking of Peter and of all the pointless beatings and drinking and I couldn’t stop.  
Mam looked at me and I could tell all she could see was a killer. “What did you do Philip,” she cried over and over. I don’t know what I did but I was glad if happened and I couldn’t tell her that I couldn’t have her look at me with anymore disgust than she already was. I was a stranger now. A stranger to my own mother.   
I backed out the door. I walked away. There was no reason to run. There was no reason to stay. I walked those same streets Peter and I walked and wouldn’t you bet I saw him everywhere. I was alone now, my best friend, my brother, was dead. My mother couldn’t look at me. I was alone and I’d always hated being alone until now. I’d always hated the quiet until now. I was a new person now.   
On the 31 of May, in Dublin, Ireland, a sixteen year old murderer walked alone in the quiet and he was quite happy to be alone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My turn,” he stated. “What are you hiding from me?”

Vera couldn’t sleep but what was new? She laid on her stomach with her head turned to the right and watched Philip sleep. He was in that ‘looks peaceful but probably shouldn't touch him because he might wake up in kill me’ kind of sleep. She usually did this on the nights when she really couldn’t sleep. She liked to count his breaths- watch his chest rise and fall with every one.  
The rain fell softly on the windows and it calmed her. All night she’d listened to it go hard and then stop and slowly start back up only for it to pour for an hour or two and go soft again. Vera loved the rain.  
Philip started to stir and before she could pretend to be asleep those deep brown eyes met her cold blue ones.  
“Goodmorning,” he said as he narrowed his eyes as he wondered why she was up.  
“Goodmorning,” she whispered back. He stared at her and then rolled over on his back to look at the ceiling.  
“Philip,” she started cautiously. “I tell you everything about me don’t I?”  
Philip looked at her and laughed a little, “right darling get on with it.”  
“Why don’t you tell me about you..”  
He took a breath while he thought of something. “There’s not much to talk about.”  
“Well what about your parents,” she asked since he didn’t seem to be that closed off just yet.  
“Mam gave up a lot for us and Dad was just a drunk,” he said quickly. He turned to face her again and sounded annoyed. “Vera, why do you suddenly have questions?”  
“Because you already know a lot more about me than I’d like for you to but I don’t know anything.”  
“Well sometimes it’s best not to know.” Vera rolled on her back like he did at the beginning of the conversation. “I left Ireland when my brother died. If that’s what you’re really wondering-why I left.” Vera looked at him and whispered, “how’d your brother die,” she knew she was really pushing it but she wanted to see how far she could go. He knew what she was doing. Testing him. “He got in a fight one day.” Philip didn’t think for a second that that would be enough information and it wasn’t. “What happened after that?” “What do you think happened,” he asked and she knew she wasn’t going to find out tonight. She sighed. “I guess you just left without telling anyone,” she replied unamused. “My turn,” he stated. “What are you hiding from me?” She could only stare at him. Why is it that she could never get away with anything when it comes to him? Acting quickly, Vera lunged forward and pressed her lips against his. He was tense at first while he decided how he wanted to react but then he grabbed her waist and started kissing back. Harder, rougher, he bit her lip, his left arm around her turned into a trap and his right hand moved up. He pushed her face back and held her there with a strong grip on her neck and jaw. Both catching their breaths he said, “that’s alright dear I’m not going to make you tell me today.” That’s alright I wasn’t going to tell you today either, she replied in her head. “But when I do make you tell me,” he started; his grip getting tighter, “don’t lie.” She started trying to kiss him again and finally he moved his hand from her jaw and back on her waist so she could. His hand moved down to her buttocks and grabbed hard. His other hand, tugging at her hair. She was wearing one of his t shirts. He jerked it all the way up and rolled on top of her. He started kissing her now exposed breasts and biting her nipples. One arm held him up the other started down her body and in between her legs. She could feel his hand get closer and closer until he sighed and smirked when he felt how already soaked she was. He slipped a finger in, and then two. She started moaning and pulling his head closer to her breasts. To her disappointment Philip suddenly took his fingers out. He grabbed her legs and flipped her over to her stomach. He ran his hands up her but and then started kissing her back. She let out a sigh of relief when he slipped two fingers back inside of her but he didn’t keep them for long. His fingers were dripping from the wetness between her legs and he put his fingers up to her lips while he positioned himself on top of her. She started sucking on his fingers and soon he was inside of her. All of him and then some of him and all of him again. It was so much. The pleasure was too much he started going faster and she started getting louder. His fingers were getting deeper in her mouth his cluck was getting deeper in her cunt it was all she could do not to scream. She probably wouldn’t have been able to scream anyway as he was gagging her with his fingers and she was living every minute of it. He moved his fingers out of her mouth and wrapped them around her throat not to tight but not to soft and now she could scream his name. Finally she couldn’t take anymore, she could feel it all over her body and she went still. Knowing she was done he let go of her throat and thrusted a few more times until he was done himself. He rolled off of her and let her recover as he usually did. After a few minutes he pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her jaw. “Tired now are we,” he chuckled. “You wanna take a nap before it’s time to wake back up again?” Vera didn’t respond she just leaned into him. She wondered if from now on they could just do that every time he asked her what she was hiding from him. She knew better than that though.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Low-key forgot about two characters so I brought them back and things are getting a little risky in this one. I’m working on chapter 11 right now so that should be out soon.

“Mrs. Lombard, Will you help me,” asked Abby Bennet, one of her first grade students. It caught Vera by surprise, she’d been zoning out a lot lately and everyone could tell. Her students could tell, her colleagues could tell, Philip could definitely tell and he was starting to get annoyed.  
She looked at the problem on the girls paper:  
5+4=  
“I wish my life were as simple as this question,” she said under her breath so the girl wouldn’t hear her. “Count on your fingers like I told you to Abby,” she held up five fingers and then added four more to demonstrate. “How many is that,” she asked her. Abby counted again to be sure and then got really excited when she figured out it was nine. “Good job, now go finish the other questions and then turn it in.” Abby ran back to her desk. And Vera went back to staring at things and looking lost.   
Vera really needed to forget about this if she didn’t want Philip to know. After all, apparently he could see through her like she was a goddamn window. But she couldn’t help it. After she saw him she wanted to know what he was doing here. It’d been a week since she saw Hugo and he hadn’t left yet.   
She saw him first when she was eating lunch with Maria last Saturday. He’d strode in so carefreely it reminded her of when she first saw him- but a lot has happened since then she reminded herself.   
Maria had been the one to point him out. He caught her eye as soon as he walked through the door.   
“Who’s that,” she asked as if Vera would know. Vera turned in her seat, not expecting to recognize some random guy Maria picked out but she did, she didn’t think she’d ever see him again but there he was.  
Vera played it cool though. “I don’t know,” she said and turned back to Maria. Maria remembered her husband quickly so Vera didn’t have to go on talking about Hugo and pretending she knew nothing about him. But she couldnt keep her eyes off of him.   
Thankfully, when she got home, Philip wasn’t there so she had time to freak out and then collect herself. When he did get home she tried to act normal but he can read her like a book and knew something was up right away. He didn’t ask questions though but she knew she couldn’t avoid it for much longer.   
The next day Sarah called and asked Vera to go shopping with her. They went to a few baby stores and Sarah was droning on about the baby and how excited she and Roy were and then she saw him again from the window. She told Sarah she was going down the street to look at a dress she’d seen and Sarah agreed to meet her there after she checked out.   
Vera caught up with him and was sure to stay a few people behind him. She followed him to his hotel and then remembered Sarah. She ran back to Sarah and they went home.  
Everyday after school Vera found herself hanging out around Hugo’s hotel. Every time she thought that maybe he’d gone home he’d just pop up and shatter her hopes. Philip could tell she was lying to him, she’s stopped asking him to pick her up from the school or telling him who was taking her home. No one was taking her home. By the time she reached Hugo’s hotel she would just take a taxi home.   
The bell got her attention. Kids rushed to turn their papers in and then hurried to their next class. The day seemed slow, everything was really dragging on. Or maybe that was just Vera not paying attention. At 2:30 the school secretary came down to her classroom.   
“Mrs. Lombard, Mr. Lombard called. He wants to know if he needs to pick you up and if not who are you riding with?” There it is, vera thought.  
“Tell him Sarah’s driving me home but we might be a while.” She nodded and left. Vera knew Philip wouldn’t take that but she had to see if Hugo was still here and since she couldn’t tell Philip he was here and that she was borderline stalking him until he left but until then she would just have to deal Philips questions.   
When the last bell rang Sarah came by her classroom. “Vera I’m headed home is your husband getting you again?”  
“Yes, he should be here any minute,” she answered.  
“Alright, just checking, bye.”  
“Bye.”  
Vera left soon after. She walked towards the hotel like the day before and there he was, they were walking towards each other. Vera put her head down so he could pass her and then she turned around to follow him. She started walking behind him but at some point she couldn’t see him anymore. She decided to give up and walked into the dress store she was standing beside.   
A blue coat caught her attention first. Vera started running her fingers along the buttons and feeling the wool. She started to wish she’d brought more money with her so she could’ve gotten it. After all it wasn’t that much and it might’ve given her a good alibi for when Philip asked why she was late. Growing tired of looking at things she wanted but couldn’t buy she turned to leave but a voice, all to familiar, stopped her.  
“Why are you following me,” Hugo asked.  
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied.  
“Everyday since, I arrived in New York, I’ve seen you. At first I thought it was just a coincidence it then I saw you again the next day and after seeing you today I have to know. Vera, what more could you possibly want from me you killed my nephew you’ve already taken everything.”  
Vera turned around to face him, she quickly thought up something to tell him and finally said,  
“Hugo I tried to save him, I did everything I could. I’d only taken my eye off of him for a moment and then he was gone, I-“  
“Shut up,” he hissed. “I’m not taking your lies so just stop. You’re good Vera, you really are but I don’t care. I’ve told you before that I wasn’t going to stop until you were hanged and I meant it.”  
“Hugo you have no idea what you’re talking about,” she reasoned. “I told you what happened that day. I told Mrs. Hamilton and the police. They all know. I tried so hard Hugo but it just wasn’t enough. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” She put her head down.  
“That’s fine Vera. Keep on with your story but I’ll find someone who believes me. You should’ve just stayed away from me after you saw me.” Vera started to leave but he grabbed her arm. With the fake tears, that she’d mastered so long ago, forming in her eyes she looked up at his face.  
“I just have one question. How could you kill him-a child, Vera how could you kill an innocent child?” Vera wasn’t going to let his guilt tripping get to her. She knew better than to give up.  
“Hugo,” she paused to let the tears roll down. “I tried-I really tried to save him- I almost drowned. I’m sorry Hugo I just wasn’t good enough.”  
“You’re not getting away with this Vera. There is no way that I’m going to let you keep getting away with this.” Vera pulled her arm out of his grip and left him there.   
Instead of hailing a cab she decided to just walk. She needed to think. She needed to come up with something fast and Vera knew she wouldn’t have time once she got around Philip. For a split second she entertained the idea of telling Philip about Hugo. God knows what he’d do. Philip already didn’t like him...but she couldn’t drag him into this. One thing was for sure though.   
Vera always walked faster when she was thinking. She reached her house soon and noticed something was missing. Philips car wasn’t there. She walked inside. Walked down the hallway to the kitchen. There was a note on the table:  
‘Got pulled into a job, I’ll be home  
later, don’t wait up.  
-Philip’  
She sat down at the table. She already knew what she had to do and she had to do it fast. We weren’t in England any more they were in New York now, Hugo would find someone and tell them what he thought. They would become interested and probably start looking into it. That was the last thing she wanted; it would change everything. Hugo was angry with her now so she knew he’d start quickly. Vera knew what she had to do, the question was how?  
Drowning him wasn’t going to work this time and poisoning would take to long. ‘This has to be done tonight,’ she thought. The answer was right in front of her. She really didn’t want to take the risk of someone seeing her but she had to get this done. She started searching through Philips things, looking for his gun.  
She found three,along with their bullets, in a suit case under the bed. She’d always known he had more than one but never brought it up. Kind of like how she never brought up how he got his money either. She picked a revolver that was already loaded and put the suitcase back.   
She put the gun in her purse and thought about how pissed Philip will be if he finds out she took one of his guns. She left the house and headed back to the hotel praying that she’d be home before Philip. Praying that she wouldn’t get caught. This was definitely a risk but it was one that she felt was necessary to take. Hugo almost got her killed once she wasn’t going to let him do it again.


	11. Chapter 11

Vera had barely even passed her house when her next door neighbor Maria and Maria’s husband Roy pulled up to their drive way. She wasn’t dumb she knew she’d have to stop and talk. Sure enough, Maria stepped out of the passenger side and smiled.  
“Hey Vera what are you doing out so late?” Vera suddenly remembered Maria telling her about some sleeping pills she had. Shooting Hugo would be dangerous but maybe she could use these pills. That would certainly be a safer way, she thought.   
“I was actually just coming over to talk to you. You’re right I really haven’t been sleeping so I wanted to know if I could get a bit of your medicine,” she explained.  
“Oh of course, here follow me they’re just in my bathroom.” Vera followed her to the upstairs bathroom and Maria reached into the cabinet and grabbed a glass bottle labeled ‘Veronal.’ She poured a few into Veras hand.  
“Now don’t take very much-maybe even only half-they’re very strong. That should last you a while though,” she warned her. Vera thanked her and then Maria talked about how it was she and Roy’s anniversary so that why they were out. Vera wished Maria and Roy a happy anniversary and then left for the hotel.  
She walked until they’re were taxis lining up and then drove the rest of the way. When she got to the hotel she didn’t quite know what she was going to do. Would she ask whoever was at the front desk? They wouldn’t tell her the room number without calling him first though. She was starting to reevaluate this decision. She wanted to plan more. She wanted to plan until there was absolutely no way she could be caught. Right when she turned to leave she saw him.  
Hugo was in the bar. Vera walked in and quietly sat in one of the booths. She ordered a drink so that it wouldn’t seem so weird. Clearly, Hugo was already very drunk. Vera put her purse onto the table so she could start smashing the pills into powder.   
This has to be quick, she thought. She ordered the same drink he’d been ordering and poorer the powder into it. She stirred it around and made sure it wasn’t noticeable and when it was good enough Hugo put his head on the counter. She hurried to the bar to switch the drinks and then rushed back to her booth to finish his. The bar was crowded and full of drunk men or couples. It was dark and loud so she was pretty sure no one saw her. If hey had they wouldn’t think much of it in the morning.   
Hugo downed the whole drink and one more before he decided to go back to his room. Vera was ready to get out. Maria had given her quite a lot so she was sure it would kill him. She didn’t have to stay to watch. She waited for him to leave the bar and then payed her bill and left.  
“Vera,” someone yelled. Except it wasn’t “someone” it was Philip. She had just hailed a cab when he called her name. Vera spun to find that he was already right behind her. As soon as she was facing him he rested his hand on the car door so she was trapped. “Why aren’t you at home,” Philip asked. He sounded angry. To the cab driver he sounded curious but Vera knew the truth. So did Phillip.  
“I had errands to run,” she lied. He would never do anything in public. He smiled but it wasn’t a nice smile it was a daring smile. Daring her to lie again.   
“Well let’s head home then, shall we.” He nodded towards the door. Once they were in the cab he pulled her close to him. She was tense now. She didn’t want him touching her if he was only touching her to ensure she couldn’t leave. Maybe when they get home she won’t waste a minute. She’ll come clean right there at the door and then what will he do?  
The gun. She remembered the gun. It was still in her purse. Loaded. Ready to shoot. Vera had to figure out a way to get the gun back in his suit case before he knew it was gone. Or maybe he already knew it was gone maybe that was why he was so angry.   
No, she thought, he’s angry because you told him you were going home yet there you are in the city. He’s angry because he caught you in a lie and he’s about to be even more angry when he finds out you not only lied to him about where you were but you also stole his gun.   
They reached the house and she was still unsure of how she was going to get the gun back in it’s spot. She wondered what he’d be more upset about: the gun or killing someone...  
Philip payed the driver and Vera started towards the house. He caught up with her while she was unlocking the door. Once the door open she immediately headed to the stairs but Philip had an arm around her waist and he lifted her and put her in a chair at the kitchen table. She had dropped her purse in the hallway and she was trying not to look at it so he wouldn’t get any ideas. Philip was not taking any lies tonight.  
“What’d you do?” It was simple question. It was a simple answer to. She thought about telling him. A second had con by and she had already played out so many scenarios. Apparently a second was too long for him.  
“I’m not an idiot Vera I know you did something,” he stopped and thought about what he said. “I take that back, maybe I am an idiot, because why the fuck would I think that you would tell me what your doing.” She didn’t day anything so he went on. “And it’s really fucking annoying because I know you’re not cheating on me. I mean I bet it’s something really fucking good isn’t it?”  
Trying not to look at the purse wasn’t enough. He sees through you remember, she thought after he looked at it,laughed, and retrieved it. It didn’t take long for him to see. His grin turned into a frown and she knew he’d seen it. It wasn’t like it was herd to miss. He put the purse on the table and held the gun in his hands.   
He looked at her. “Is this the one from under the bed,” he asked calmly.  
“Yes,” she replied. Her voice was hoarse from not talking for so long. He nodded. She could tell he was mad.   
“So what’d you do,” he asked again.   
He tossed the gun onto the table and turned to face the wall. It seemed like he was just facing away from her but he wasn’t.  
He punched the wall and then turned back to face her. “Goddammit, Vera why have you been lying to me,” he was yelling this time. “I mean I fucking caught you and you still won’t tell me! Why the fuck did you take my gun, where the fuck have you been, and why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I mean I tried- I really did- I was trying to just watch you and figure it out for my self but honestly I’ve got no fucking idea! I don’t know you killed, I don’t know why you killed them but you better fucking tell me now cause’-“  
“Hugo,” she interrupted. He stopped talking and listened. “I killed Hugo. That’s where I was tonight. I saw him on the street last week and I got nervous so I followed him and I just kept following him until today.” She was almost whispering. She knew he’d calm down as soon as she told him the truth but she hated saying these kind of brings out loud. Always worried the wrong person would here.  
“What happened today. I know you didn’t kill him just to get rid of him. What’d he say?” There he goes again, seeing straight through her. Nothing made her feel more worthless. Not even her own mother calling her worthless. She looked away from him.  
“He just said he’d tell about Cyril...”  
“Oh yeah,” he looked at the gun. “Then how’d you kill him. I know you didn’t use the gun. Not in a fucking hotel that’s just to risky for you, isn’t it?”  
“I got veronal from Maria and put the powder in his drink at the bar.”  
“How much did you use,” he asked sharply. As if she didn’t know how to overdose someone. Especially with a drug like that.  
“Enough,” is all she said. “Are we done now?” She knew that question was a risk.  
“Why didn’t you just tell me. You did this all for a week and didn’t tell me-Vera I would’ve taken care of it.”  
“Because, it’s not your fucking problem,” she yelled. He raised his eyebrows. “God, I got along fine without you so why do you think I’m just incapable of doing anything like that?”  
“What, like murder,” he joked.  
“Something like knowing how much is too much fucking veronal!”  
“That’s not what I said,” he interrupted. “I said I would’ve taken care of it so you wouldn’t have had to do that.”   
“Why,” she yelled. “I mean it’s not your fucking problem so please Philip so why-“  
“You’re right Vera, It’s not my fucking problem.” He picked up the gun and tucked it in his trousers. “So the next time you want to kill someone you better not have my goddamn gun with you. He walked to the door. Vera got up and ran to him.  
“Where are you going,” she asked angrily.  
“Somewhere far from here.” He went outside and slammed the door shut. Vera swung it wide open and watched him drive away. She didn’t even have time to run after him. Honestly she wasn’t even sure she would’ve it seemed to desperate and right now she was to angry to be desperate. Even if he did leave. She went back inside and sat on the couch. She wondered if he was coming back or if she’d really fucked things up this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve had this done for a while but I got busy and couldn’t edit but good news I’ve got the next part done already and it’ll be up tmrw.


	12. Last Chapter

Vera threw the morning paper down on the table. Hugo was on the front page. Vera was sure it would die down. No one assumed it was murder-just an overdose on sleeping medication, it wasn’t uncommon.  
Seeing Hugo on the newspaper wasn’t what was getting to Vera this morning, it was Philip. He’d been gone a whole day and last night, just when she started to worry he wouldn’t come back, he called her.  
“I’ve got a job so I don’t know when I’ll be back,” was all he said. Vera didn’t even have time to get a sound out before he hung up. After that she’d slammed the phone against the table three or four times.  
She didn’t understand why he was so mad at her. She knew it was more than the gun. He wouldn’t have left and then found a way to be gone longer if it was just the gun.   
Vera took a sip of her coffee. It was bitter but she hadn’t made it to the store to get milk. She wanted to know how long he’d be gone and for the first time it was driving her insane that she didn’t know where he was.  
She knew exactly why he was staying away. He was punishing her. Trying to make her feel bad for telling him that it wasn’t his problem. But it wasn’t his problem.   
Philip knew what she did to Cyril so why would he think that she was incapable of doing something without him. She was getting worked up again.   
Vera wished he had never asked how much she used. She’d always had a thing about people questioning her. Even in school, she hated when people double checked her work. It was like they were waiting for her to make a mistake but didn’t they know she never would? Vera was too good for that.   
It was an obsession really. How much she felt the need to prove herself. It started after her mother died. When she saw her laying there in her blood, that was the first time Vera realized how much she hated her. She realized this because she was happy. Vera had thought her life would be normal but it wasn’t lone before she’d recognized this overwhelming obsession.   
She was tired of people telling her she wasn’t good enough and sure it started with sports and everything normal but then you could say it progressed into something very unhealthy.  
Her coffee cup was empty now. She washed it right away and put the cup back into the cupboard.   
Vera read a book for the rest of the day. She didn’t leave. She didn’t want to come home and find that Philip had taken his things and left her for good. It was pointless because Philip didn’t come home that day and she slept on the couch again.  
At school the next day Vera stayed worried that he might leave her. It was Monday so he knew she’d be gone. She started to regret not calling in sick. When she got home she ran to the closet. She sighed in relief when she saw that all his clothes were still there.   
She wasn’t hungry so she sat on the couch and started grading papers. She’d purposely postponed grading until she got home so she’d have something to do, other than think about Philip. Before she knew it she was asleep.  
She must’ve been asleep for a while because it was dark when she woke up again. She woke up because someone was picking her up. Her eyes were closed but she could picture where they were. The hallway, the staircase, the bedroom, and finally the bed. He set her down gently and she opened her eyes.   
“I didn’t mean to wake you, just go back to sleep,” Philip said. But now she couldn’t. Was this him retrieving his stuff? If she went back to sleep would he be gone the next time she woke up?  
“Are you staying,” she slurred. She was still half asleep.  
“I would think that’s why I’m here.” He pulled his gun out from the waist line of his pants and set it on the dresser. She’d actually forgotten that he’d left with it.  
“I thought you had a job,” she asked.  
“I finished earlier than I thought I would,” he replied while he kicked off his shoes. Vera looked at the clock. It was 10:00.  
“I’m sorry,”she said. Even though she really didn’t mean it. He caught on to it.  
“You’re sorry.” He sat down on the bed next to her. He knew she didn’t mean it but he shrugged. “It’s fine,” he said.  
“Why didn’t you come home. Why’d you wait a few days,” she asked.  
“Because I was mad at you,” he started.  
“Why. What’d I do besides lie to you about something that really wasn’t any of your concern.”  
“You think it’s none of my concern,” he said. “Vera when are you going to understand that the things you do actually affect other people?” He breathes in. “I just wished you would’ve told me what you were doing.”  
“Why so you could help me?” Her voice was starting to grow. “Why, do you think I can’t do it or something?”  
“No, I know you can. I just would’ve liked to know why my wife was coming home late every night and lying to me.”  
“I’m not your wife,” she hissed. It was meant to hurt him but he just laughed.  
“Yeah, I know,” he said. “We’re together because it made it easier to get into the U.S. and I don’t give a fuck about what you do.” She looked down. She’d only thought that but she never heard him say it.   
“So that’s what you think, hm,” he continued. “Why can’t you get it through your head head that I care about you?”  
Vera didn’t know honestly. Sometimes she felt close to him and other times she felt like she needed to distance herself.   
“I didn’t tell you about Hugo because I didn’t want to involve you,” she explained. “I wanted to keep it all a secret because,” it was hard to tell him she was afraid of losing him.  
“Because why?”  
“Because I hate that I rely on you. I hate the fact that if you left me I’d be sad...”  
“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not going anywhere?” She looked down. “Vera you can do things on your own, I mean if you tell me you don’t need my help then I won’t help you, just stop keeping secrets. It’s annoying and it pisses me off.” She nodded.   
“Nodding’s not good enough, I need to hear you say you’re done keeping secrets.” She couldn’t promise that. Not when she was basically a pathological liar.   
“I’ll try to stop keeping secrets,” that would have to be good enough. Philip rolled his eyes and then said ok.  
“I’m never going to leave you, ya know. You’re addicting Vera, I can’t get enough of you, even though you piss me off to no extent, I can’t help it. I love you. If I wasn’t interested in you or I knew I’d be done with you soon I wouldn’t have asked for you to come to New York with me in the first place.” They locked eyes.   
“Do you believe me,” he asked.  
“I believe you,” she replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m ending this “book” but not the series im going to continue it but this was the last chapter for this...”book” or whatever they’re called. Ill keep writing but the next ones I write are all going to focus on one conflict instead of me being so unorganized. I’ll start writing the next installment of the series soon.


	13. Chapter 13

The next part in my And Then There Were None series is up so go check it out it’s called “One Dead Girl” and the titles pretty self explanatory: someone’s dead and Philip and Vera realize they’re more involved in this than they think.  
These stories in the series are going to focus on one central problem the two of them have to deal with (this one being a murder/er). I figured July 1st would be a good time to upload because it’s the start of a new month and it gave me enough of a break to start working on chapters.   
Anyway, go check it out. I hope you enjoy!:)


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